Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

personalistic focus. Instead of just viewing this individual as a coworker, we see this person as someone
who is a whole individual who is a friend. According to research, workplace friendships are marked by
higher levels of intimacy, frankness, and depth than those who are peer coworkers. 40
According to Patricia Sias and Daniel Cahill, workplace friendships are developed by a series of
influencing factors: individual and personal factors, contextual factors, and communication changes.
41
First, some friendships develop because we are drawn to the other person. Maybe you’re drawn to a
person in a meeting because she has a sense of humor that is similar to yours, or maybe you find that
another coworker’s attitude towards the organization is exactly like yours. Whatever the reason we
have, we are often drawn to people that are like us. For this reason, we are often drawn to people who
resemble ourselves demographically (e.g., age, sex, race, religion).
A second reason we develop relationships in the workplace is because of a variety of different
contextual factors. Maybe your office is right next to someone else’s office, so you develop a friendship
because you’re next to each other all the time. Perhaps you develop friendships because you’re on the
same committee or put on the same work project with another person. In large organizations, we often
end up making friends with people simply because we get to meet them. Depending on the size of your
organization, you may end up meeting and interact with a tiny percentage of people, so you’re not likely
to become friends with everyone in the organization equally. Other organizations provide a culture where
friendships are approved of and valued. In the realm of workplace friendship research, two important
factors have been noticed concerning contextual factors controlled by the organization: opportunity and
prevalence. 42 Friendship opportunity refers to the degree to which an organization promotes and enables
workers to develop friendships within the organization. Does your organization have regular social
gatherings for employees? Does your organization promote informal interaction among employees,
or does it clamp down on coworker communication? Not surprisingly, individuals who work in
organizations that allow for and help friendships tend to be satisfied, more motivated, and generally more
committed to the organization itself.
Friendship prevalence, on the other hand, is less of an organizational culture and more the degree
to which an individual feels that they have developed or can develop workplace friendships. You may
have an organization that attempts to create an environment where people can make friends, but if you
don’t think you can trust your coworkers, you’re not very likely to make workplace friends. Although
the opportunity is important when seeing how an individual responds to the organization, friendship
prevalence is probably the more important factor of the two. If I’m a highly communicative apprehensive
employee, I may not end up making any friends at work, so I may see my workplace place as just a job
without any commitment at all. When an individual isn’t committed to the workplace, they will probably
start looking for another job. 43
Lastly, as friendships develop, our communication patterns within those relationships change. For
example, when we move from being just an acquaintance to being a friend with a coworker, we are more
likely to increase the amount of communication about non-work and personal topics. Sias and Cahill
note that change from friend to close friend is marked by decreased caution and increased intimacy.
Furthermore, this transition in friendship is characterized by an increase in discussing work-related
problems. The final transition from a close friend to “almost best” friend. According to Sias and Cahill,
“Because of the increasing amount of trust developed between the coworkers, they felt freer to share
opinions and feelings, particularly their feelings about work frustrations. Their discussion about both
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Interpersonal Communication