Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

9. Avoid the bully
10. Toughen up
The researchers discovered three underlying themes of advice. First, participants reported that they felt they
were being told to downplay their emotional experiences as victims. The second was what the researchers
called the “dilemma of advice,” or the tendency to believe that the advice given wasn’t realistic and wouldn’t
change anything. Furthermore, many who followed the advice reported that it made things worse, not better.
Lastly, the researchers note the “paradox of advice.” Some participants wouldn’t offer advice because bullying
is contextual and needs a more contextually-based approach. Yet others admitted that they offered the same
advice to others that they’d been offered, even when they knew the advice didn’t help them at all.
The researches ultimately conclude, “The results of this study point to a paradoxical relationship between
advice and its usefulness. Targets felt that all types of advice are potentially useful. However, the advice either
would not have worked in their case or could possibly be detrimental if put into practice.” 73 Ultimately, the
researchers argue that responding to bullying must first take into account the emotions the victim is receiving,
and that responses to bullying should be a group and not a single individual’s efforts.
Tye-Williams, S., & Krone, K. J. (2017). Identifying and re-imagining the paradox of workplace bullying
advice. Journal of Applied Communication Research, 45(2), 218–235. https://doi.org/10.1080/00909882.2017.128
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Problem Subordinates
In the two previous sections, we’ve looked at problematic bosses and coworkers, but subordinates
can also be a bit of a problem in the workplace. For this reason, Harden Fritz identifies five clear
troublesome subordinates: the okay subordinate, the abrasive harasser, the bully, the different other, and
the incompetent renegade. 74
The Okay Subordinate
First, we have the okay subordinate. Just like the name suggests, this person is neither stellar nor awful;
this person is just okay. This person does tend towards being a mildly annoying busybody at work.
Still, none of their behavior rises to the status where a supervisor would need to step in and counsel the
employee’s behavior formally.
The Abrasive Harasser
Second, we have the abrasive harasser. The abrasive harasser is an individual who need regular
counseling about what constitutes sexual harassment. They may not even always realize what types of
behavior are appropriate in the workplace. For example, this subordinate could forward their supervisor
a sexual joke via email without thinking others could perceive the joke as inappropriate. On the more
extreme end, you have people who are perpetual sexual harassers who need to be severely counseled to
protect the organization. In some cases, the person will need to be fired for harassing behavior.
The Bully
The next common problem subordinate is the bully. According to Harden Fritz, this subordinate is one
“who bosses others, usurps authority, is competitive and is at the same time insecure.” 75 If this person’s
behavior is not curtailed by their supervisor, it can quickly become infectious and end up hurting
cohesion throughout the entire office. Furthermore, supervisors need to recognize this behavior and
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