Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Positive Characteristics
Give cues to others when time is
being wasted
Time-Oriented Listeners
Negative Characteristics
Limit creativity in others by
imposing time pressures
Strategies for Communicating
with Time-Oriented Listeners
Get to the bottom line quickly
Original Source: Mallard, K. S. (1999). Lending an ear: The chair’s role as listener. The Department
Chair, 9(3), 1-13.
Used with Permission from the Author
Table 7.2 Understanding the Four Listening Styles
Hopefully, this section has helped you further understand the complexity of listening. We should
mention that many people are not just one listening style or another. It’s possible to be a combination
of different listening styles. However, some of the listening style combinations are more common. For
example, someone who is action-oriented and time-oriented will want the bare-bones information so
they can make a decision. On the other hand, it’s hard to be a people-oriented listener and time-oriented
listener because being empathic and attending to someone’s feelings takes time and effort.
Mindfulness Activity
One of the hardest skills to master when it comes to mindfulness is mindful
listening. To engage in mindful listening, Elaine Smookler recommends using
the HEAR method:
1. HALT — Halt whatever you are doing and offer your full attention.
2. ENJOY — Enjoy a breath as you choose to receive whatever is being
communicated to you—wanted or unwanted.
3. ASK — Ask yourself if you really know what they mean, and if you
don’t, ask for clarification. Instead of making assumptions, bring
openness and curiosity to the interaction. You might be surprised at
what you discover.
4. REFLECT — Reflect back to them what you heard. This tells them that you were really listening. 51
For this mindfulness activity, we want you to engage in mindful listening. Start by having a conversation
with a friend, romantic partner, or family member. Before beginning the conversation, find a location that
has minimal distractions, so try not to engage in this activity in a public space. Also, turn off the television
and radio. The goal is to focus your attention on the other person. Start by employing the HEAR method
for listening during your conversation. After you have finished this conversation, try to answer the
following questions:
1. How easy was it for you to provide your conversational partner your full attention? When stray
thoughts entered your head, how did you refocus yourself?
2. Were you able to pay attention to your breathing while engaged in this conversation? Were you
breathing lightly or heavily? Did your breathing get in the way of you listening mindfully? If yes,
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