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Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

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the nature of gender differences and friendships.<br />

In reality, research demonstrated that both males<br />

and females can have communal relationships<br />

even though women report notedly higher levels<br />

of communality in their friendships (second set<br />

of curves). As for agency, women and men were<br />

found <strong>to</strong> both have agentic friendships, and there<br />

was considerable overlap between the two groups<br />

here, with men being slightly more agentic (seen<br />

in the third set of curves).<br />

A great deal of research in friendship has<br />

focused on sex differences between males and<br />

females with regard <strong>to</strong> friendship. In this section,<br />

we’re going <strong>to</strong> start by looking at some of the<br />

research specifics <strong>to</strong> same-sex friendships and<br />

then opposite sex friendships. We’ll end this<br />

section discussing a different way of thinking<br />

about these types of relationships.<br />

Communal<br />

Communal<br />

Agentic<br />

<br />

For a lot of research, we use the term “same-sex”<br />

<strong>to</strong> refer <strong>to</strong> two individuals of the same biological<br />

sex as friends. Gerald Phillips and Julia Wood<br />

argue that there are four primary reasons<br />

Agentic<br />

females develop friendships with the same-sex:<br />

activities, personal support, problem-solving, and Figure 10.6. Communal vs. Agentic<br />

reciprocation. 44 For female same-sex friendships,<br />

the first reason is activity. These are friendships that tend <strong>to</strong> develop around a specific activity: working<br />

out, church, social clubs, etc. For the most part, these friendships stay confined <strong>to</strong> the activity itself<br />

and provide a chance for conversation and noncommittal associations. The second reason is personal<br />

support. It’s this second category that many highlight when discussing the differences between female<br />

and male friendships. Personal support involves friendships where an individual has a personal confidant<br />

with whom they can share their deepest, darkest secrets, concerns, needs, and desires. These friendships<br />

are often highly stable friendships and tend <strong>to</strong> last for a long time. By nature, these friendships tend<br />

<strong>to</strong> be highly communal, which is why we generally discuss them as a key reason for female same-sex<br />

friendships. Third, all of us have areas where we’re skillful and lack skill. We often develop friendships<br />

with people who have skills that are complementary <strong>to</strong> our own. Consciously or subconsciously, we<br />

develop friendships with others out of a need <strong>to</strong> problem-solve in our daily lives. For example, an<br />

information technology specialist may become friends with an accountant. In their friendship, they<br />

provide complementary support: computer help and financial advice. Finally, females tend <strong>to</strong> view their<br />

friendships as highly reciprocal. They expect <strong>to</strong> get out of a friendship what they put in<strong>to</strong> a friendship; it’s<br />

a mutual exchange. If a female feels her friend is not putting in<strong>to</strong> a relationship the same amount of time<br />

and energy, she is less likely <strong>to</strong> keep sustaining that friendship.<br />

As for male-male friendships, research shows us that they’re not drastically different, though their<br />

friendships may be framed differently. They still create friendships because of recreation, personal<br />

345<br />

<strong>Interpersonal</strong> <strong>Communication</strong>

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