Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

to greater overall relationship satisfaction.
Khaddouma, A., Gordon, K. C., & Bolden, J. (2015). Zen and the art of dating: Mindfulness,
differentiation of self, and satisfaction in dating relationships. Couple and Family Psychology: Research
and Practice, 4(1), 1-13. https://doi.org/10.1037/cfp0000035
Key Takeaways
• Mongeau, Jacobsen, and Donnerstein defined the term “dating” by identifying a
series of “supracategories” that help define the term: communication expectations,
date goals, date elements, dyadic, and feelings.
• The idea of script theory was originally proposed by Abelson who defined the
concept of scripts as sequences of events expected by a participant or an observer.
Dating scripts, therefore, are patterns of behavior that are expected during a “date.”
• There are six different love styles. Eros is romance and emphasizes love and physical
beauty, immediate attraction, emotional intensity, and strong commitment. Second,
storge love develops slowly out of friendship where stability and psychological
closeness are valued along with commitment, which leads to enduring love. Third,
ludic lovers view love as a game, and playing this game with multiple partners is
perceived to be acceptable by individuals with this love style. Fourth, agape love
involves altruism, giving, and other-centered love. Fifth, pragma love is known as
practical love involving logic and reason. Lastly, mania love is characterized by
dependence, uncertainty, jealousy, and emotional upheaval.
Exercises
• Compare a current or past romantic relationship to the definition of romantic
relationships provided in this chapter. What are the similarities and differences in
your romantic relationship?
• List the physical features you find attractive. List the personality factors you
find attractive. Would you have a romantic relationship with someone who
possessed the personality characteristics you find attractive, but not the physical
characteristics? Why or why not? Now, consider whether you would have a
romantic relationship with someone physically attractive, but who did not possess
the personality characteristics you find attractive. Would you have a romantic
relationship with this individual? Why or why not?
• List and define each love style. List the love style of each of your parents and
grandparents. Explain how your love style developed and whether it was learned
from a family member or innate.
Interpersonal Communication 278