Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

wife in high school. During a skit, he played a criminal and she played a police officer. She told him to
“freeze,” and he continued to move (due to Tourette’s). She misunderstood his movement to mean he
was being defiant and thus “took him down.” You can watch Comroe’s routine here.
Although nonverbal misunderstandings can be humorous, these misunderstandings can affect
interpersonal as well as professional relationships. One of the authors once went on an important job
interview for a job she was not offered. She asked the interviewer for feedback, and he said, “your
answers sounded canned.” The author did not think to do so in the moment, but what she should
have said is that she may have sounded canned because she frequently thinks about work, her work
philosophy, and how she approaches work. Thus, her tone may have been more indicative of simply
knowing how she feels rather than “canned.”
As you continue to learn about nonverbal communication, consider how you come to understand
nonverbal communication in interactions. Sometimes, the meaning of nonverbal communication can be
fairly obvious. Most of the time a head nod in conversation means something positive such as agreement,
“yes,” keep talking, etc. At other times, the meaning of nonverbal communication isn’t clear. Have you
ever asked a friend, “did she sound rude to you” about a customer service representative? If so, you are
familiar with the ambiguity of nonverbal communication.
Usually Trusted
Despite the pitfalls of nonverbal
communication, individuals
Vocalics
typically rely on nonverbal
communication to understand
Verbal
the meaning in interactions.
Communication scholars agree
that the majority of meaning in
any interaction is attributable to
38%
Body Language
nonverbal communication. It
isn’t necessarily true, but we are
55%
taught from a very early age that
lack of eye contact is indicative of
lying. We have learned through
research that this “myth” is not
necessarily true; this myth does
7%
tell a story about how our culture
views nonverbal communication.
That view is simply that nonverbal
communication is important and
Figure 5.2 Mehrabian’s Explanation of Message Meaning
that it has meaning.
Another excellent example of nonverbal communication being trusted may be related to a scenario
many have experienced. At times, children, adolescents, and teenagers will be required by their parents/
guardians to say, “I’m sorry” to a sibling or the parent/guardian. Alternatively, you may have said “yes”
to your parents/guardians, but your parent/guardian doesn’t believe you. A parent/guardian might say
in either of these scenarios, “it wasn’t what you said, it was how you said it.” Thus, we find yet another
example of nonverbal communication being the “go-to” for meaning in an interaction.
According to research, as much as 93% of meaning in any interaction is attributable to nonverbal
159
Interpersonal Communication