Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

have a family that they can consider their own, even if they are switched from family to family. Nonmarried
couples who consider themselves a family should also be researched as such. This aspect of the
definition does open itself to some family types that are seen as illegal (e.g., family members marrying
each other). This definition does not attempt to create a legal definition of family as much as it attempts
to create a definition under which the family can be studied. As mentioned earlier, not all forms of family
are necessarily healthy or legal. This part of the definition broadens the field of family study while the
remaining criteria narrows the focus so that not just any group can call itself a family.
Cohabitation
The second part of the definition of family indicates that the cohabitants may live together or apart by
choice or circumstance. There are a variety of married couples who are not able to live in the same place
because of occupation. According to Naomi Gerstel and Harriet Engel Goss, a commuter family is such
a family:
The existence of marriages in which spouses separate in the service of divergent career demands at least
suggests a need to question both the presupposition that coresidence is necessary for marital viability
and its corollary that husbands and wives necessarily share economic fates. Dubbed “commuter,” “longdistance”
or “two location” families, these marriages entail the maintenance of two separate residences by
spouses who are apart from one another for periods ranging from several days per week to months at a
time. 10
These marriages, seen as nontraditional by many, are becoming an increasingly common occurrence
within the United States. Any member of the military who is stationed in the United States and sent to
other parts of the world without their family experiences the problems caused by commuter marriages.
Just because these families are not able to live under the same roof does not mean that they are not a
family.
Family Roles
The third criterion of the definition of “family” suggests that the persons interact within family roles.
These roles include such terms as mom, dad, son, daughter, wife, husband, spouse, and offspring.
When an adult decides to be the guardian either by birth, adoption, or choice, the adult has taken on the
role of a father or mother. When a group takes on the roles of parental figures and child figures, they
have created a family system within which they can operate. Some of these roles can be related to the
understanding of extended family as well, such as grandmother, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, and the like.
These roles and the rules that cultures associate with them have a definite impact on how a family will
function.
Common Culture
The fourth aspect, creating a common culture, stems directly from Burgess’ definition. 11 Couples bring
other aspects (communicative acts, history, cultural differences, etc.) of their lives into the family to create
the new subculture that exists in the new family. This can be done whether you have two men, a mother
and daughter, or a husband and wife. When a couple joins to create a family unit, they are bringing both
of their cultural backgrounds to the union, thus creating a unique third family culture that combines the
two initial family cultures.
Interpersonal Communication 366