Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Based on these six categories and other literature on the subject, the researchers developed a measure and
narrowed it down to 27 items. The measure ultimately discovered two different patterns of Internet infidelity
superficial/informal acts (e.g., chatting about sports, talking about current events, joking) and involving/goaldirected
(e.g., disclosing love, viewing personal ads, making plans to meet someone).
The researchers found that superficial/informal acts were rated as less severe than involving/goal-directed
ones. When it came to the severity of superficial/informal acts, there were no differences between females and
males in this study. However, females did find involving/goal-directed Internet infidelity as more severe than
did men. Lastly, the researchers found that people tended to rate their Internet infidelity as less severe than
they rated their partner’s infidelity on both involving/goal-directed and superficial/informal acts.
Docan-Morgan, T., & Docan, C. (2007). Internet infidelity: Double standards and the differing views of
women and men. Communication Quarterly, 55(3), 317-342. https://doi.org/10.1080/01463370701492519
The lack of physical presence in online relationships drives the need to differentiate between sexual
infidelity and emotional infidelity. It seems clear that physical interaction with another individual
constitutes sexual infidelity. Still, some individuals might say that as long as there is no sexual intercourse,
then there has been no infidelity. If we can’t all agree on when cheating has occurred after physical
contact, then it is easy to see why there tends to be a great deal of disagreement as to what constitutes
emotional infidelity. One might even question whether emotional attachment to an infidel outside of
one’s primary relationship constitutes infidelity at all. Sexual infidelity involves sexual intimacy and
physical involvement. In contrast, emotional infidelity includes “emotional involvement with another
person, which leads one’s partner to channel emotional resources such as romantic love, time, and
attention to someone else.” 19 For example, if you receive a promotion at work, it might be assumed that
the first person you would tell would be your relational partner. However, if emotional resources have
been directed toward another individual, then this individual may be the first individual you might call.
The relationship partner might view this as a betrayal or a dependence on another individual at the very
least.
It was initially proposed that women would perceive emotional infidelity as worse than sexual
infidelity and that men would perceive sexual infidelity in their partners as worse than emotional
infidelity. This proposal developed from the evolutionary psychology perspective. In summary, this
perspective indicates that males would be concerned with sexual infidelity because they had no way of
knowing whether their mate was carrying their child and thus carrying on their genetic material. On the
other hand, women were more concerned with emotional infidelity because women feared that their
male counterparts would become attached to another female and that his resources (e.g., money, time)
would be directed toward the other. Although this perspective provides insight into the basic differences
between perspectives that might be held by females and males, research consistently shows that both
females and males find sexual infidelity to be worse than emotional infidelity. 20
Researchers reported that sexual infidelity occurred in 30% to 40% of relationships. 21 When sexual
infidelity occurs, research shows that how infidelity is discovered determines relational outcomes. 22
Voluntary admission seems to result in increased forgiveness, less likelihood of dissolution, and was the
least damaging to relational quality.
Hurtful Messages
Interpersonal Communication 504