Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

it’s not mutual, then we’re not friends.
Further Notes
1. There is no shame in being an acquaintance. I think society has made the word
derogatory and that is why it seems offensive. It’s just about being honest.
2. Friendship is not that complicated to me (I know, the irony of making up a theory
and calling it uncomplicated). There may be a small few that cannot be categorized
because there is history and shades of grey but I look at my relationship with most
people as being Black or White, categorized, uncomplicated.
3. The theory is flexible in the sense that people can go up or down the levels and
understands that throughout a dynamic friendship, people become closer or further
apart from each other.
4. My theory originates from personal experiences. I realize that one of my biggest
vulnerabilities is that I’m too sentimental this theory combats this problem quite
efficiently.
5. I understand that this theory cannot be applied to everyone, but it significantly helps
me.
Reprinted with Permission of the Author, Mobinah Ahmad.
acquaintances, how do you see this playing out in your own life? How many people whom you label as
“friends” really are acquaintances?
Today a lot of our interaction with friends is mediated in some fashion. Whether it’s through phone
calls and texts or social media, gaming platforms, Skype, and other interactive technologies, we interact
with our friends in new and unique ways. For example, in a study that came out in 2018, found that
60% of today’s teenagers interact with their friends online daily while only 24% see their friends daily. 71
Interacting online with people is fulfilling some of the basic functions that used to be filled through
traditional face-to-face friendships for today’s modern teenagers. Teens who spend time interacting with
others in an online group or forum say that these interactions played a role in exposing them to new
people (74%), making them feel more accepted (68%), figuring out important issues (65%), and helping
them through toughtimes in life (55%).
But, are all technologies created equal when it comes to friendships? In a study by Dong Liu and
Chia-chen Yang, the researchers set out to determine whether the way we perceive our friendships differs
based on the communication technologies we use to interact. 72 The researchers examined data gathered
from 22 different research samples collected by researchers around the world. Ultimately, they found that
there is a difference in how we use technologies to interact with friends. They labeled the two different
categories Internet-independent (e.g., calls, texts) and Internet-dependent (e.g., instant messaging, social
networking sites, gaming). Of the different technologies examined, “Mobile phone-based channels
had stronger associations with friendship closeness, suggesting that phone calls and texting were
predominantly used with closest associates.” 73 As a side note, the researchers did not find sex differences
with regard to communication technologies use and friendship intimacy.
Research Spotlight
In 2018, Bree McEwan, Erin Sumner, Jennifer Eden, and Jennifer Fletcher set out to examine relational
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Interpersonal Communication