Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Read
Lastly, you should read regularly. It doesn’t matter what you read. As long as you are reading, you will
probably come across words that you are unfamiliar with. When you do come across a word you don’t
know, take the time to look it up. This practice is especially important when reading academic works
because they are often full of ten-thousand-dollar words. Next time you read and run across a word that
you don’t know, be sure to find the definition so that you can comprehend what is being said.
We would also recommend reading articles and books that stretch you. Don’t just read books like the
Twilight and Harry Potter because those are written on a junior high or middle-school reading level.
After learning to improve your vocabulary, it’s also important to increase language awareness and
adaptation. When we talk about , we are referring to a person’s ability to be
mindful and sensitive to all functions and forms of language. 35 For our purposes, we define
as the ability to alter one’s linguistic choices in a communicatively competent manner. As
such, it’s not just about being aware of language that leads to effective interpersonal interactions, but
our ability to adapt our linguistic choices with different people to maximize the effectiveness of our
interpersonal communication.
There are a couple of ways that people can increase their language awareness and adaptation. The
first way is to engage in meaningful interpersonal communication with someone different from you. This
person can be from a different country or different region of the country from you. When you speak to
someone very different from you, you might notice how they use language differently or how they prefer
certain words over others.
Another way might be to watch a foreign film. Check out different international films that have been
nominated for an Academy Award. Most of them will be dubbed in English or have English subtitles.
Pay attention to how the characters communicate with each other to create meaning. Does it give you an
appreciation for how you speak?
Lastly, spend some time with a small child, preferably under the age of five. Pay attention to how
the child communicates with you versus others (e.g., their friends, parents/guardians, siblings). Children
under five are still acquiring words and learning to talk. When you communicate with someone who
has a very limited vocabulary, it might help you see how you can adapt your language so that they will
understand you.
As a speaker, you want to know that the receiver of your message understood what you said. This
concept is also known as checking for understanding or verifying what has been said is also understood. 36
Even if a person is smiling and nodding at you when you talk, it does not necessarily mean that they are
paying attention to everything. They might be trying to be polite and/or friendly. The best way to check
for understanding is to use the acronym: TAP. Think of communication like a tap dance; if you don’t
hear any tapping, would it really be a tap dance? The same thing can be applied to communication. Did
you communicate if the other person didn’t understand you or get what you were trying to say?
First, the T in TAP means to talk first. In other words, you explicitly present all the content. As you
are talking, you are also trying to make sure that the other person is listening to you talk.
Second, the A in TAP stands for ask questions. After you talked to the person, try to ask specific
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