Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

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4. If you haven’t already, take a moment to think about the questions posed in #7 of Rush’s list. What can you learn from this conflict that will help prepare you for future conflicts with this person or future conflicts more broadly? Key Takeaways • A conflict occurs when two people perceive differing goals or values, and if the two parties do not reach a solution, the interpersonal relationship could be seriously fractured. An argument, on the other hand, is a difference of opinion that occurs between two people during an argument. The primary difference between a conflict and an argument involves the emotional volatility of the situation. However, individuals with a low tolerance for disagreement may perceive any form of argument as interpersonal conflict. • In this section, we discussed three basic forms of conflict management: integrative (collaborators), distributive (battlers), and avoidance (avoiders). Integrative conflict occurs when two people attempt a win-win situation where the conflict parties strive to find a mutually beneficial solution to a problem. Distributive conflict occurs when one or both conflict parties desire a win-lose orientation where they will win and the other person will lose. Lastly, we have avoidance, which occurs when an individual either tries to avoid a conflict altogether or leaves the conflict field. • Dudley Cahn and Ruth Anna Abigail’s STLC method for communication is very helpful when working through conflict with others. STLC stands for stop, think, listening, and communicate. Stop and time to be present within the conflict itself and prepare. Think through the real reasons for the conflict and what you want as an outcome for the conflict. Listen to what the other person says and try to understand the conflict from their point-of-view. Communicate in a manner that is assertive, constructive, and aware of your overall message. Exercises • Think of a time when a simple disagreement escalated to a conflict. What happened? Why did this escalation occur? • During conflict, do you think it’s appropriate to use all three forms of conflict management? Why? • Think of a recent interpersonal conflict that you had that went badly. How could you have implemented the STLC Model of Conflict to improve what happened during that conflict? Chapter Wrap-Up for successful interpersonal relationships. Interpersonal Communication 318
End of Chapter Key Terms • Accidental Communication • Alexithymia • Argument • Avoidance • Coercive Power • Compliance • Conflict • Disagreement • Distributive Conflict • Dunning–Kruger Effect • emotional awareness • Emotional Intelligence • Emotions • Expert Power • Expressive Communication • Feelings • Identification • Influence • Informational Power • Integrative Conflict • Interdependence • Internalization • Legitimate Power • Power • Procedural Disagreements • Referent Power • Reward Power • Rhetorical Communication • Substantive Disagreement • Tolerance for Disagreement • “You” Statements Real World Case Study Paul has been in a yearlong relationship with his boyfriend Bill. Paul really loves the idea of being in love, but he’s just not in love with Bill at all. Unfortunately, on Valentine’s Day, he made the mistake of telling Bill that he loved him even though he just doesn’t. As far as Paul is concerned, he could end the relationship today. Bill, on the other hand, fell madly in love with Paul almost immediately after they started hanging out and going to the gym together. One day when Bill and Paul were hanging out watching TV, he looked at Paul and told him that he loved him. Bill immediately noticed that Paul looked like a deer in headlights and let him off easy saying, “There’s no need to say it back if you’re not ready to do so.” Ultimately, the relationship became more like a really good friendship than a romantic relationship. The two hung out and went to dinner and saw movies, but were never really intimate with one another at all. Paul kept up the charade because he kind of liked some of the perks of being in a relationship. He liked having someone to hang out with all the time. He liked having someone who cleaned his house and cooked for him. He liked having someone who would look after his cats when he went on vacation. Over time, Bill started to realize that something was wrong with the relationship. One day when he and Paul were talking about the future, he told Paul, “I want to be everything for you.” He immediately saw that once again Paul looked like a deer trapped in headlights. Over time, Bill 319 Interpersonal Communication
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Interpersonal Communication 1 In In
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Contents Preface ..................
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Organizing ........................
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Introversion/Extraversion .........
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Proxemics .........................
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Analyzing .........................
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Avoiders ..........................
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Solitary Survivor (Retired) .......
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Resource ..........................
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Reactions to Hurtful Messages .....
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Control, in, and of itself, is neit
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One of the inherent limitations of
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NACADA Journal (National Associatio
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day message family Now might relati
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“interpersonalness.” On the oth
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physical symptoms. It is vital for
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information with other people. We c
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etween serious versus non-serious i
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If, however, you’ve had a bad exp
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Religion can also impact what you v
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used to harsh language or foul lang
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Self-Monitoring The last characteri
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Today scholars view the term “int
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cable, satellite television, the Wo
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Towards a Mindfulness Model Shauna
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are). 4. L stands for love (being k
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The last facet of mindfulness is
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psychological in nature). Simply, t
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Real World Case Study Noam is a fre
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References 1 Bochner, A. P. (1989).
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Illuminating the theory & practice
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Image by Sasint from Pixabay Chapte
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As the arrow in Figure 2.1 indicate
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Discovering Self-Concept - Who are
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In another study, researchers sough
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Channel With advances in technology
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and just close your eyes. Focus on
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Figure 2.3a The Rubin Vase - based
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is normal behavior. We are so focus
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In this section, we have discussed
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The Shannon-Weaver model was critic
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MESSAGE Encoder Interpreter Decoder
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In 1970, Dean C. Barnlund created t
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As a receiver, you can keep trying
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of information from a source or sen
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The first statement in the credo fo
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feelings on this subject. When it c
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End of Chapter Quiz 1. Paul tells J
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20 Model. (2020). BusinessDictionar
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Image by johnhain from Pixabay Chap
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Thoughtful Conversely, the top ten
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The final characteristic of Rogers
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ased on facts. For example, many pe
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Mindfulness Activity One of the bea
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According to Simon, Vulture (‘vul
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• Is thinking this way helping me
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provided some interesting stories,
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1. Temperament is biologically dete
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Personality: • https://projects.f
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Neuroticism is the degree to which
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is a form of social organization wh
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Although relatively little research
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1. Lack of affect in interpersonal
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• Watch the following interview c
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sion-24 (PRCA-24). 75 If you have n
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gender (feminine males, masculine f
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tion sensitivity. In a set of thre
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7. Increased fear of rejection. 8.
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End of Chapter Key Terms • Affect
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etween self-esteem and communicatio
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https://psychcentral.com/lib/challe
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73 Buss, A. (2009). Anxious and sel
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119 Interpersonal Communication
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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
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ferent perceptions. The same thing
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Abstract Information Research Acade
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little “cuddle monster” because
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have perceptions about yourself. Th
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unique spellings of names. Names ca
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generally inflamed by this rhetoric
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We can decrease affiliation with ot
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The business world is full of jargo
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e in hot water Be in trouble. If yo
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she’s a doll full of beans full o
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types of improper language: vulgari
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doing this activity, try to be more
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Read Lastly, you should read regula
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Finally, this chapter discusses the
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References 1 Lakoff, R. T. (2001).
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expressions if everyone’s face wa
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meanings of crossing one’s arms.
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wife in high school. During a skit,
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Accenting is a form of nonverbal co
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daily lives, such as greeting, comf
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Instructions: Read the following qu
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Dysfluencies, Vocal Fillers, or Ver
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Proxemics is the study of communica
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of products available to enhance en
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_____9. _____10. I think my metabol
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care for, and take pleasure in your
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As we’ve discussed with mindfulne
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Instructions: Please read each sent
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Second, individuals must believe no
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End of Chapter Key Terms • Accent
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References 1 Eckman, P and Friesen,
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44 Ibid. 45 Richmond, V. P., Smith,
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Figure 6.1 Traditional costumes and
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In addition to a dominant culture,
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6.2 The Function of Culture Learnin
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cultural group(s). In the case of c
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Exercises • Think about a group t
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Geert Hofstede Another very importa
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U.S. is number 19 out of 76); where
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80/17475759.2017.1292944 Stella Tin
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ideas to your co-culture. Does your
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Instructions: Read the following qu
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figure out where that stereotype ca
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One day Roy and Jalissa were hangin
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References Culture: A critical rev
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and versare (turn): “conversation
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Diatribe Lastly, Angle discusses th
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discourage self-disclosure) • Phy
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Entitlements and Enhancements The f
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can see in Figure 7.3, the Johari W
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process by which you interact with
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they have to say, we may end up bei
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If we achieve discriminative listen
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The final listening style is the ti
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Step Four: Now subtract B from C. P
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Positive Characteristics Give cues
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Ronald Adler, Lawrence Rosenfeld, a
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is used to show that you identify w
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make this situation better?” The
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women should behave in public. Wome
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End of Chapter Key Terms • Analyz
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References 1 Apps, J. (2014). The a
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conversation isn’t easy, but it i
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Image by ID 1715736 from Pixabay Ch
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you were to approach your mom, she
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curvaceous ideal of Marilyn Monroe
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how to handle financial issues. So
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stage, we are primarily interested
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partners disagree about what is opt
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Page 307 and 308: Exercises • As a class, ask every
Page 309 and 310: End of Chapter Quiz 1. Picking a se
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Page 315 and 316: Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Page 317 and 318: From this perspective, conflict is
Page 319 and 320: ly. Here are some examples of confl
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Page 343: aggressive. Conversely, you have to
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Page 353 and 354: Beverley Fehr was one of the first
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Page 359 and 360: On the other side, we do depend on
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Page 387 and 388: Image by Brad Dorsey from Pixabay C
Page 389 and 390: Statistical Definition of ‘Family
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To further explain the concepts of
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Fork Pin Third Wheel First Wheel Ho
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communicate with others. Norms, on
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same end result using multiple star
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Genogram Symbols Basic Symbols Male
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Vader is a slightly distant father
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y social-construction or intra-psyc
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“dinks,” dual incomes, no kids.
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The typical final stage in the fami
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warmth are more likely to engage in
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sibling is a great way to enjoy eac
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11.4 Marriage Relationships Learnin
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Sharing The third dimension of marr
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overly assertive in their conflict
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Chapter Wrap-Up As we discussed at
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c. Genogram d. Genealogy tree 4. In
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25 Kerr, M. E., & Bowen, M. (1988).
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71 Umberson, D., Thomeer, M. B., Kr
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12.1 Technology and Communication L
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creation of a system that could all
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(Figure 12.4). The invention of IRC
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In this section, we’re going to d
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newspapers in the 1880s often used
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Third, netiquette attempts to gover
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Instructions: This set of questions
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her/him/themselves occupied (e.g.,
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themed posts. Pitcan, M., Marwick,
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ut the goal is to provide a space w
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Psychosocial Crisis Trust vs. Mistr
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and wanted to share a meme, but rea
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Even J. K. Rowling (of Harry Potter
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They found five basic reasons peopl
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those possible in traditional FtF i
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She decides to download the app and
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The History Channel. https:// www.h
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47 Bullingham, L., & Vasconcelos, A
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0.97 hours 1.06 hours 0.59 hours 0.
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had dealings with the EPA for $50 p
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• Encourage your coworkers to dem
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4. Noticing and letting go of your
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Characteristic Informal Formal Cont
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Have you ever been disrespectful in
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Fred Dansereau, George Graen, and W
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Research Spotlight In a 2019 articl
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The third followership style is the
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It’s always good to have a peer t
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Ability to Focus Have you ever foun
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marked by gradual changes that help
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personalistic focus. Instead of jus
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Key Takeaways • According to Patr
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Propinquity Interpersonal Attractio
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e terminated. Robert Quinn was the
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employment-related decisions withou
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This section, the most important of
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WRs they had engaged in, this motiv
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There are many books out there desi
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Sixth, we have the intrusive harass
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tends to be highly uncivil in the w
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ensure that the targets of the bull
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Key Terms • Career Strategizing
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4. At work, Stella has an inherent
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21 Ibid..; pg. 33. 22 Gagnon, M. A.
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work. Journal of Managerial Psychol
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Image by John Hain from Pixabay Cha
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Butterfield and Rebecca Chory-Assad
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accurately. is defined as using
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“Even in the closest, most satisf
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After exploring the types of hurtfu
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Current research indicates that rel
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the name-calling would be considere
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speculate that cyberbullying is wor
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Denial of due process in meetings D
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Jennifer Guthrie and Adrianne Kunke
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their experiences with two addition
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Internet infidelity, and hurtful me
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tion about the state of the relatio
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42 Aloia, L., & Solomon, D. (2013).
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Assertiveness Attending Attention A
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Conflict Confrontational Behaviors
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Emotional Loneliness Emotional Vamp
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Identification Ideology of traditio
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Kinesics Language Language Adaptati
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Norms Observing Oculesics Olfactics
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Representational Function Responsiv
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Sociocommunicative Orientation Soci
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Versatility Vocabulary Vocalics Wil
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