Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

If, however, you’ve had a bad experience with a dog in the past, you may have very negative feelings that
could lead you to feel anxious or experience dread when you hear the word “dog.” As another example,
think about clowns. Some people see clowns as cheery characters associated with the circus and birthday
parties. Other people are genuinely terrified by clowns. Both the dog and clown cases illustrate how we
can have symbols that have different meanings to different people.
One area that often involves a bit of controversy in the field of communication is what is called
intentionality. Intentionality asks whether an individual purposefully intends to interact with another
person and attempt shared meaning. Each time you communicate with others, there is intentionality
involved. You may want to offer your opinions or thoughts on a certain topic. However, intentionality is
an important concept in communication. Think about times where you might have talked aloud without
realizing another person could hear you. Communication can occur at any time. When there is intent
among the parties to converse with each other, then it makes the communication more effective.
Others argue that you “cannot, not communicate.” This idea notes that we are always communicating
with those around us. As we’ll talk more about later in this book, communication can be both verbal (the
words we speak) and nonverbal (gestures, use of space, facial expressions, how we say words, etc.). From
this perspective, our bodies are always in a state of nonverbal communication, whether it’s intended or
not. Maybe you’ve walked past someone’s office and saw them hunched over at their desk, staring at
a computer screen. Based on the posture of the other person, you decide not to say “hi” because the
person looks like they are deep in thought and probably busy. In this case, we interpret the person’s
nonverbal communication as saying, “I’m busy.” In reality, that person could just as easily be looking at
Facebook and killing time until someone drops by and says, “hi.”
When we communicate with other people, we must always remember that our communication
is interpreted at multiple levels. Two common dimensions used to ascertain meaning during
communication are relational and content.
Relational Dimension
Every time we communicate with others, there is a relational dimension. You can communicate in a
tone of friendship, love, hatred, and so forth. This is indicated in how you communicate with your
receiver. Think about the phrase, “You are crazy!” It means different things depending on the source
of the message. For instance, if your boss said it, you might take it harsher than if your close friend said
it to you. You are more likely to receive a message more accurately when you can define the type of
relationship that you have with this person. Hence, your relationship with the person determines how you
are more likely to interpret the message. Take another example of the words “I want to see you now!”
These same words might mean different things if it comes from your boss or if it comes from your lover.
You will know that if your boss wants to see you, then it is probably an urgent matter that needs your
immediate attention. However, if your lover said it, then you might think that they miss you and can’t
bear the thought of being without you for too long.
Content Dimension
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Interpersonal Communication