Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Negro or colored
African American or Black
old people or elderly
senior citizens, mature adults, older adults
Oriental
Asian, Asian American, or specific country of
origin
postman or mailman
postal worker or mail carrier
steward or stewardess
flight attendant
suffers from diabetes
has diabetes; person living with diabetes
to man
to operate; to staff; to cover
waiter or waitress
server
Table 13.2. Replacing Sexist or Biased Language with Inclusive Terms
Mindfulness Activity
We live in a world where respect and bias are not always acknowledged in
the workplace setting. Sadly, despite decades of anti-discrimination legislation
and training, we know this is still a problem. Women, minorities, and other
non-dominant groups are still woefully underrepresented in a broad range of
organizational positions, from management to CEO. Some industries are better
than others, but this problem is still very persistent in the United States. Most of
us mindlessly participate in these systems without even being consciously aware.
Byron Lee puts it this way:
Our brains rapidly categorize people using both obvious and subtler characteristics, and also automatically
assign an unconscious evaluation (eg good or bad) and an emotional tone (ie pleasant, neutral or
unpleasant) with this memory. Importantly, because these unconscious processes happen without
awareness, control, intention or effort, everyone, no matter how fair-minded we might think we are, is
unconsciously biased. 5
These unconscious biases often lead us to engage in microaggressions against people we view as “other.”
Microaggressions are “the everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs, or insults,
whether intentional or unintentional, which communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to
target persons based solely upon their marginalized group membership.” 6 Notice that microaggressions
can be targeted at women, minorities, and other non-dominant groups. Research has shown us that these
unconscious biases effect everything from perceptions of hireability, to job promotions, to determining
who gets laid off, and so many other areas within the workplace.
Byron Lee has devised a five-point strategy for engaging in mindful intercultural interactions:
1. Preparing for your interpersonal encounter by recognizing and gently observing preconceptions,
biases, emotions, and sensations as part of your ongoing internal experience (Nonjudging).
Bringing into awareness an intention to connect (Presence).
2. Beginning your conversation by remaining open to hear whatever the person may bring
(Acceptance), and a willingness to get close to and understand another’s suffering (Empathic
Concern).
3. Bringing a kindly curiosity to your own internal experience and to the experiences shared by the
other person throughout the encounter (Beginner’s Mind).
Interpersonal Communication 450