Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

This chapter is going to explore the different types of family relationships and then end by looking at
marriage.
11.1 Family Relationships
Learning
two basic types of family communication patterns.
3. Explain family systems theory and its utility for family
Outcomes
communication researchers.
We interact within our families and begin learning our family communication pattern from the time
we are born. Families are comparable to cultures in that each family has its own beliefs, customes,
practices, rituals, and values. Interactions with other families reveal that there are vast differences between
families. You may notice that the family down the street yells at each other almost constantly. Yelling
is their baseline interaction, whereas another family never raises their voices and may seem to speak so
infrequently that it appears that they have nothing to talk about within their family unit. These differences
and our tendency as humans to make comparisons cause individuals to assess the value of the various
styles of family communication.
One of the biggest challenges for family researchers has been to define the term “family.” The ambiguity
of the term has often been seen in the academic literature. The definition of the family developed by
Ernest W. Burgess was the first widely used definition by academics. 1 The term “family” was described
as “two or more persons joined by ties of marriage, blood, or adoption; constituting a single household;
interacting and communicating with each other in their respective social roles of husband and wife,
mother and father, son and daughter, brother and sister; and creating and maintaining a common
culture.” 2 According to Burgess, a family must be legally tied together, live together, interact together,
and maintain a common culture together. The first three aspects of Burgess’ definition are pretty
easy to conceptualize, but the concept of common culture deserves further explanation. Common
culture consists of those communication interactions (day-to-day communication) and cultural tools
(communication acts learned from one’s culture previous to the marriage) that each person brings into
the marriage or family. The various tools and interactions form a unique and individual subculture that
exists within the context of the new family. A couple can pick and choose from their various backgrounds
which communicative acts are most important to them and integrate those into the family unit. If a
couple has communicative acts that are polarized, then a couple will need to negotiate and form new
ways of communicating. Burgess’ definition of the family was useful because he was the first to examine
the family structure’s attempt to maintain a common culture, but it also has many serious problems that
cannot be ignored. Burgess’ definition of the word “family” excludes single parent families, commuter
families, bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgendered/transsexual families, and families who do not choose
to, or are unable to, have children.
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