Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Beverley Fehr was one of the first scholars to note the problem related to defining the term
“friendship”: “Everyone knows what friendship is – until asked to define it. There are virtually as many
definitions of friendship as there are social scientists studying the topic.” 1 Table 10.1 presents some
sample definitions that exist in the literature for the terms “friend” or “friendship.”
Anthropological “A friendship-like relationship is a social relationship in which partners
provide support according to their abilities in times of need, and in which this
behavior is motivated in part by positive affect between partners.” 2
Clinical Psychology “[S]omeone who likes and wishes to do well for someone else and who
believes that these feelings and good intentions are reciprocated by the other
party.” 3
Dictionary “The emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.” 4
Evolutionary “Friendship is a long-term, positive relationship that involves cooperation.” 5,6
Friendship as Love “The etymology of word friend connects its meaning with love, freedom and
choice, suggesting an ideal definition of friendship as a voluntary relationship
that includes a mutual and equal emotional bond, mutual and equal care and
goodwill, as well as pleasure.” 7
Legal
“Friendship is a word of broad and varied application. It is commonly used
to describe the undefinable relationships which exist not only between those
connected by ties of kinship or marriage, but as well between strangers
in blood, and which vary in degree from the greatest intimacy to an
acquaintance more or less casual.” 8
Personality
“[V]oluntary, mutual, flexible, and terminable; relationships that emphasize
equality and reciprocity, and require from each partner an affective
involvement in the total personality of the other.” 9
Philosophy
“[A] distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the
part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other’s sake, and that
involves some degree of intimacy.” 10
Social Psychology “[V]oluntary or unrestrained interaction in which the participants respond to
one another personally, that is, as unique individuals rather than as packages
of discrete attributes or mere role occupants.” 11
Table 10.1 Defining Friendship
As you can see, there are several different ways that scholars can define the term “friendship.” So, we
must question whether defining the term “friendship” is the best way to start a discussion of this topic.
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Interpersonal Communication