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use to describe a situation where the heart beats faster than normal, such as being scared
or shocked. However, Shushi feels that the line, while understandable, comes across as a
bit awkward. As we will see in Shushi’s version of the poem, more creativity may need to
be employed. Lastly, I should mention that ku in this line is required, not optional, as is
often the case (see § 5.4.1.3.5).
In the first line of the final quatrain, I needed more syllables and chose to use a
verb çim, ‘I go,’ which is used to express what will happen to the soul after death. I also
included the subject pronoun ez, 1D, which does not need to be included (see § 5.4.1.2.1
on anaphoric subject pronoun ellipsis). I also inclused the directional enclitic, a. In the
second line, I had begun with min divêt, ‘I want.’ However, needing another
syllable―and desiring something more expressive to capture the sense of ‘would’ in this
line, which is being used to express intention or inclination―Shushi recommended ez ḧez
dikim, ‘I desire,’ which provides a bit of the emotive element that was missing.
Struggling to find a rhyme to end this line, I moved li werê, ‘there,’ to the end (see
§ 5.4.1.3.7), settling for the similarity between the consonants r and d in wêrê and Xwedê,
‘God.’ The sounds represented by the letters r and d are produced at the same alveolar
place of articulation, and both are voiced. The only difference is the manner of
articulation; one is a flap and the other a plosive, respectfully. This is similar to the sound
play discussed in § 5.3.3.1.3 on multisyllabic rhyming sequence.
In the third line, Shushi was able to provide me an alternate word for ‘darkness,’
taritî, which has one more syllable than tarî, the word I had used. She also recommended
using winda bit for ‘vanish,’ as she was not familiar with the word I used from Chyet’s
(2003) dictionary. The final line of the poem was very difficult to rhyme. I had settled for
bînahîyê, ‘sight.’ However, after working with Shushi, we decided to change the line by
making ‘sight’ the subject, and Shushi came up with the word qad, which means ‘field’
or ‘open space.’ With the feminine oblique ending, -ê, qadê would rhyme with Xwedê.
The image has been changed slightly, which is advocated by Boerger in her sixth
principle regarding metaphorical imagery (1997:38). But, even though the qad is
metaphorical here, it still conveys the central image―that when one is finally with God,