Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

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CHAPTER TWO EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL TOOLS AND STRATEGIES Mindfulness isn’t difficult. What is difficult is to remember to be mindful. —John Teasdale Mindfulness is the opposite of mindlessness. —Dan Siegel This section provides the tools and strategies to help you become a Star Performer in Emotional Self-Control. A defi nition of Emotional Self-Control is provided and illustrated by examples of “Fallen Stars”—those who suffered career derailment because they were unable to control their impulses. Of all the derailers, this one seems to bring down Stars the fastest, and it seems to be the most common. Other chapters start with a Star Secret success story rather than Fallen Stars stories. The Coach’s Corner identifies tools you or your direct reports can use to manage your impulses and emotions. In the corporate world, a four-second outburst can tarnish a leader’s career because it is what becomes chiseled in others’ minds about you. What causes this unintended outcome, and what can we do to prevent this loss of rational thought and reputation? Tools to gain more cognitive control will be presented and explained in this chapter. 83
84 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE WHAT IS THE EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL COMPETENCY? Emotional Self-Control is demonstrated by a leader being able to manage impulsive and/or distressing feelings. Leaders who are competent in Emotional Self-Control are able to stay composed, calm, and unflappable in stressful situations, regardless of the environment. They have control of their emotions versus their emotions controlling them. Leaders with Emotional Self-Control think clearly while under pressure. 1 Their IQ and executive functioning stay intact. One reason why Emotional Self-Control is so critical to focus on is that it is fragile and thus can be lost in a second with devastating effects. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE RESEARCH EXAMPLES Case studies of wrecked careers were examined by a consulting firm in the course of testing 4,265 people from all levels in the organizations studied. These employees all had lack of impulse control, with little ability to delay gratification. 2 In a study of 700 professional football players in the NFL, including draft choices and college players, those with higher levels of restraint were rated by their coaches as having greater ability, being more motivated, being stronger leaders, and as easier to coach. 3 Store managers who are best able to manage their stress and stay unemotional have the most profitable stores in a national retail chain. 4 STRESS, EQ, AND IQ Henry Thompson has been studying the effects of stress on EQ and IQ since the early 1980s. In one study he exposed people to the stress of a baby crying and found that the higher the stress the less emotionally intelligent participants behaved. 5 Thompson did another study with 62 participants taking the EQi under normal and simulated “stressed-out” mindset conditions. He found the stressedout mindset participants scored 20 points below the normal participants. This was one standard deviation less than the norm. These
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PRAISE FOR LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL I
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“Leading with Emotional Intellige
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“Dr. Reldan Nadler has provided a
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LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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This book is dedicated to Martin S.
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CONTENTS PREFACE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IN
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CONTENTS xiii CHAPTER THREE: SELF-C
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CONTENTS xv Experiential Teambuildi
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CONTENTS xvii 3. White Space Issues
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PREFACE As a psychologist doing exe
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Iwould like to firs
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INTRODUCTION WHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIG
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INTRODUCTION 3 All of us have exper
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INTRODUCTION 5 LEADERS’ CONSEQUEN
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INTRODUCTION 7 Great leaders, like
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INTRODUCTION 9 ativity, and decisio
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INTRODUCTION 11 the Emotional Quoti
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INTRODUCTION 13 all point to the pa
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INTRODUCTION 15 ▲ What can I do a
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CHAPTER ONE ARE YOU A STAR PERFORME
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ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AV
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SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS AND STRATEGIE
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CHAPTER FOUR TEAMWORK AND COLLABORA
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TEAMWORK AND COLLABORATION TOOLS AN
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CHAPTER FIVE DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOL
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DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEG
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CHAPTER SIX COMMUNICATION AND EMPAT
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COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND
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CHAPTER SEVEN THE GAME PLAN Great l
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THE GAME PLAN 305 • Key executive
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THE GAME PLAN 307 4. Success Rules:
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THE GAME PLAN 309 10. Focus on Stre
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THE GAME PLAN 311 5. What will keep
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THE GAME PLAN 313 MONTH: YEAR: WEEK
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NOTES INTRODUCTION 1. W. Bennis,
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NOTES 317 24. M. Buffett and D. Cla
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NOTES 319 86. M. Buckingham, The On
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NOTES 321 CHAPTER FOUR 1. H. A. Elf
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BIBLIOGRAPHY Alexander, J. “From
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 325 Everts, D. “Carl
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 327 Maslow, A. Toward
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES The following
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 331 EQ Univers
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INDEX Accountability and consequenc
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INDEX 335 Derailers of Bill Clinton
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INDEX 337 Le Doux, Joseph, 86 Leade
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INDEX 339 eight strategies for, 92-
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Reldan S. Nadl
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HOW TO ENGAGE THE AUTHOR TO BRING E
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Go to our website for more informat
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