Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

274 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
is as the listener. Many leaders live by faulty assumptions that can
cause many problems such as: “Because I said it, everyone has
received it.” The listeners assume that you really thought about
this and there is something specific you are saying. In other words,
they are inferring that you have clarity in your communication.
RECEIVER’S INFERENCES INCLUDE
• You spent time thinking about this situation.
• You know exactly what you want.
• There is a clear purpose in all of your communications.
• You know what they can do or not do to add value.
• You have all the answers.
These inferences are based on what you say, your behavior, and
your non-verbals. As leaders, we know that many of these assumptions
are false, but these are the expectations of your followers as
they are listening to you, at least initially. If these expectations are
not met, then the opposite of these inferences are made and then
validated and revalidated.
For example:
• You don’t know what you are doing.
• You don’t have the answers.
• You don’t think anyone has any value.
• You are not clear about where you, the team, or the organization
are going.
• You are not a leader who is credible and respected.
INTENTION/INTERPRETATION GAP
Everything you say has inferred intention and direction to it, as
shown in Figure 6.2.