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Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

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DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 231<br />

• Is there anything you can do about this situation that will<br />

help?<br />

• Is there anything anyone else can do that would help you?<br />

• Is there any part of this situation where you have some<br />

influence?<br />

• Is there anything you can do right now about this?<br />

If the answer to all four questions is no, you want to help them<br />

let go of the concern and focus on something else, something that is<br />

under their influence. Some of these questions may help:<br />

• What will it take for you to let go of this concern?<br />

• What are you getting out of putting your energy into<br />

something you can’t change or influence?<br />

• Is it your choice to put your energy on something that won’t<br />

or can’t change?<br />

• Where else could you be putting your energy and focus if you<br />

weren’t so absorbed in this situation, which you can’t change<br />

or alter?<br />

• What are you missing out on by staying in the Circle of<br />

Concern?<br />

Now take your direct reports into answering some focusing<br />

questions:<br />

• What do you have influence over that you can do now?<br />

• What is the first step?<br />

• What is the rest of your plan?<br />

• What support or resources do you need to get this done?<br />

• How can anyone support you?<br />

• What would prevent you from taking action?<br />

TEAM APPLICATION: Hold a meeting <strong>with</strong> your team and go over<br />

the key concerns they face. First, have each person evaluate whether<br />

each item is a concern or something he or she has influence over.

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