Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

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COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 271 credibility and security. People won’t have to “create their own stories” as much. WHITE SPACE The following visual will help you see and remember the process. The bold line indicates what you said: The minus or hyphen signs indicate what gets fi lled in quickly by others. Remember, they are entering through the lines to grasp what it seems you have said. Again, it is usually inaccurate and judgmental, and rarely gives you the benefit of the doubt. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Positive signs indicate what you say when you proactively fi ll in the white space with accurate and positive data, talking about opportunities. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ White space is always going to get fi lled in by others. You can plan ahead and inform your people of what you know and prevent too many misunderstandings.
272 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE QUESTIONS AND ACTION APPLICATIONS • Explain to your staff how fi lling in white space is natural and how you want them to become conscious of how they are doing it. • Ask, “What are the ways you can become more aware of how you and others fi ll in the white space?” • Challenge yourself and others on some of their assumptions as you and they fi ll in the white space. • Constantly ask for feedback about your communications. Ask, “What did you hear?” Then re-clarify. • Ask your team to let you know if they are not hearing enough from you and are beginning to fi ll in white space negatively. • Evaluate whether their interpretations are Positive, Accurate, and Constructive. This is called a PAC interpretation. If what you read or hear is not accurate and constructive, make sure you clarify. • Remember, white space is going to get fi lled in by others anyway. You can be preventative and informing by telling your people what you know. • Use the term white space so it remains a viable image and concept for your team. 4. INTENTION/INTERPRETATION GAP Everything you say has inferred intention and direction to it. Even if you didn’t mean to, the receiver hears a message and intended action to your words. For example: Mary is an executive with a high-tech company. She talks fast, is extremely busy, is always multitasking, and is driven to get results. She has a meeting with her staff to motivate them to fi nish a project, so they can enjoy a long weekend. She begins:
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PRAISE FOR LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL I
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“Leading with Emotional Intellige
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“Dr. Reldan Nadler has provided a
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LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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This book is dedicated to Martin S.
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CONTENTS PREFACE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IN
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CONTENTS xiii CHAPTER THREE: SELF-C
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CONTENTS xv Experiential Teambuildi
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CONTENTS xvii 3. White Space Issues
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PREFACE As a psychologist doing exe
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Iwould like to firs
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INTRODUCTION WHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIG
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INTRODUCTION 3 All of us have exper
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INTRODUCTION 5 LEADERS’ CONSEQUEN
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INTRODUCTION 7 Great leaders, like
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INTRODUCTION 9 ativity, and decisio
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INTRODUCTION 11 the Emotional Quoti
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INTRODUCTION 13 all point to the pa
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INTRODUCTION 15 ▲ What can I do a
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CHAPTER ONE ARE YOU A STAR PERFORME
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ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AV
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CHAPTER TWO EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL
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EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL TOOLS AND ST
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CHAPTER THREE SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS
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SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS AND STRATEGIE
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CHAPTER FOUR TEAMWORK AND COLLABORA
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TEAMWORK AND COLLABORATION TOOLS AN
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CHAPTER FIVE DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOL
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DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEG
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Page 338 and 339: NOTES INTRODUCTION 1. W. Bennis,
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NOTES 321 CHAPTER FOUR 1. H. A. Elf
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BIBLIOGRAPHY Alexander, J. “From
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 325 Everts, D. “Carl
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 327 Maslow, A. Toward
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES The following
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 331 EQ Univers
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INDEX Accountability and consequenc
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INDEX 335 Derailers of Bill Clinton
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INDEX 337 Le Doux, Joseph, 86 Leade
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INDEX 339 eight strategies for, 92-
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Reldan S. Nadl
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HOW TO ENGAGE THE AUTHOR TO BRING E
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