Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

298 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
• If trust is the issue and you are not sure if people want to
hear about your left-hand column, talk about trust in your
team and ways to enhance it.
• One exercise that helps is to have people complete the
following statement and share with a partner or in the
group. The answer to this statement is usually in the lefthand
column. “For me to trust, you should . . . ”
• Fill in 5-10 responses, the later responses force you to dig
deep into what you need for trust.
11. DIALOGUE VS. DISCUSSION
Dialogue is a way of thinking and reflecting together to come
up with better ideas, more creativity, and innovation. It focuses on
learning from one another and building shared meaning, making
sure to include everyone’s perspective in the mix. 16 Dialogue means
the “flow of meaning” between people and “to gather together.” With
shared meaning come shared actions. Dialogue is about evoking
insight, which is a way of reordering knowledge, usually around the
taken-for-granted assumptions that people bring to the table. Better
decisions and execution result when decisions start with a dialogue.
Thinking together will produce better results than thinking alone
will.
In most organizations, dialogues do not happen because of:
• time constraints
• hierarchies
• strong opinions and trying to be the smartest person in the
room
• poor listening
• competition and defensiveness
• political agendas
• “un-discussable” topics