Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 97
As Dan Siegel explains it, “Our ability to pause before we react
gives us the space of mind in which we can consider various options
and then choose the appropriate ones.” 17
EMOTIONAL AUDIT
What am I thinking? (Accesses the basal ganglia, which
integrate feelings, thoughts, and movements.)
What am I feeling? (Accesses the basal ganglia, which integrate
feelings, thoughts, and movements, and the temporal
lobes, which regulate emotional stability, by labeling affect
or emotion, which allows you to “name it to tame it.”)
What do I want now? (Accesses the cerebellum, which carries
out executive functions and connects to the prefrontal
cortex, where cognitive integration takes place.)
How am I getting in my own way? (Accesses the prefrontal
cortex, which allows you to learn from mistakes.)
What do I need to do differently now? (Accesses the prefrontal
cortex, which handles the “boss” supervision of life
including executive functioning, planning, goal setting, and
insight, as well as the anterior cingulate gyrus, the brain’s
“gear shifter” that sees options and goes from idea to idea to
choose the best option.)
ANATOMY OF A HIJACK USING THE EMOTIONAL AUDIT
John was a leader who was known to have a hot temper. He was
aware of it, and his supervisor had noted it as a part of his performance
review. John was presenting at an internal national sales
meeting when he “lost it” by yelling at some of his team members
during the presentation to put their computers away. There was a
hush and awkwardness as he continued his presentation. This was
very embarrassing for him, cemented his “hothead” image, and limited
his promotion potential.