Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

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COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 259 WHAT IS THE EMPATHY COMPETENCY? Empathy is the ability to 1) understand other people, and 2) accurately hear the unspoken or partly expressed thoughts, feelings, and concerns of others. It implies taking an active interest in other people’s concerns. For people to believe you see their perspective, you have to say their perspective. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE RESEARCH EXAMPLES Empathy requires self-awareness, as our sensitivity to others’ feelings derives from our ability to be aware and sensitive to our own feelings. Physicians who are better at recognizing emotions of patients are more successful at treating them than their less sensitive counterparts. 5 Spencer and Spencer found the ability to read others’ needs appears to come naturally to the most successful managers of product teams. Empathy was found to be effective for sales in small and large retailers. 6 Empathy was also found to reduce stereotyping that can cause anxiety and poorer performance by the stereotyped individual. 7 Are You a Star Performer in empathy or just average? Do you regularly and consistently (at least 80% of the time) understand others’ perspectives and say their perspective fi rst, and are you open to diversity? HOW TO LISTEN EXPRESSED AND UNEXPRESSED FEELINGS The Star “sees others’ perspectives and understands them.” This includes the content of what they are saying and the feelings they are having. The content of what someone is saying is the easier of the two. For someone to really feel heard, knowing how he or she feels allows a deeper sense of being understood. This is challenging
260 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE FIGURE 6.1 FLUSHING OUT FEELINGS EXPRESSED UNEXPRESSED 2 Known to self, and known to others 1 Known to self and expressed 3 Not known to self, but known to others 4 Not known to self and not known to others because often people don’t know how they feel, so besides being invisible to you their feelings are also unknown to them. What can help <strong>with</strong> this process is a modification of what is called the Johari Window, fi rst conceived in 1955 by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingram. It is a visualization (see Figure 6.1) that helps to give voice to people’s feelings, including those that are known and expressed as well as those that are unknown and unexpressed. What to do depends on the expression of feelings and whether or not they are known. QUADRANT 1: FEELINGS ARE KNOWN TO SELF AND EXPRESSED • Listen for the “blinking words”: The blinking words are the feelings; they have the emotional content. You want your ear to be sensitized to them as though they are flashing brightly. Consider: “I am so frustrated <strong>with</strong> the project, I don’t know what to do next.” “Frustrated” is the blinking word. You can hear how it stands out in the sentence. Here are two possible responses:
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PRAISE FOR LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL I
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“Leading with Emotional Intellige
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“Dr. Reldan Nadler has provided a
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LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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This book is dedicated to Martin S.
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CONTENTS PREFACE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IN
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CONTENTS xiii CHAPTER THREE: SELF-C
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CONTENTS xv Experiential Teambuildi
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CONTENTS xvii 3. White Space Issues
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PREFACE As a psychologist doing exe
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Iwould like to firs
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INTRODUCTION WHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIG
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INTRODUCTION 3 All of us have exper
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INTRODUCTION 5 LEADERS’ CONSEQUEN
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INTRODUCTION 7 Great leaders, like
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INTRODUCTION 9 ativity, and decisio
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INTRODUCTION 11 the Emotional Quoti
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INTRODUCTION 13 all point to the pa
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INTRODUCTION 15 ▲ What can I do a
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CHAPTER ONE ARE YOU A STAR PERFORME
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ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AV
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CHAPTER TWO EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL
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EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL TOOLS AND ST
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CHAPTER THREE SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS
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SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS AND STRATEGIE
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CHAPTER FOUR TEAMWORK AND COLLABORA
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TEAMWORK AND COLLABORATION TOOLS AN
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CHAPTER FIVE DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOL
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DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEG
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THE GAME PLAN 309 10. Focus on Stre
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THE GAME PLAN 311 5. What will keep
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THE GAME PLAN 313 MONTH: YEAR: WEEK
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NOTES INTRODUCTION 1. W. Bennis,
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NOTES 317 24. M. Buffett and D. Cla
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NOTES 319 86. M. Buckingham, The On
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NOTES 321 CHAPTER FOUR 1. H. A. Elf
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BIBLIOGRAPHY Alexander, J. “From
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 325 Everts, D. “Carl
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 327 Maslow, A. Toward
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES The following
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 331 EQ Univers
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INDEX Accountability and consequenc
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INDEX 335 Derailers of Bill Clinton
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INDEX 337 Le Doux, Joseph, 86 Leade
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INDEX 339 eight strategies for, 92-
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Reldan S. Nadl
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HOW TO ENGAGE THE AUTHOR TO BRING E
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Go to our website for more informat
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Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

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