Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 269
• Get feedback from a trusted co-worker on the effectiveness
of your attending behavior.
• Establish commonalities or interests outside of work that
you can talk with your people about that can help build the
relationship.
• Identify the specific language to use with each of your
people that matches their way of taking in information.
3. WHITE SPACE ISSUES
“If you are not sick and tired of saying the same thing over and
over again, you are not saying it enough.”
The word intelligence comes from a Latin derivation meaning
“entering through the lines.” People are always using their intelligence
to enter or read into the lines of what you are saying or not
saying. They fi ll in the white spaces between your words almost
automatically, because it gives them a sense of understanding, control,
or security. In the caveman days, gossip served a similar function.
It was information that gave tribes the sense of understanding
the meaning of things. They could “connect the dots,” which helped
their survival.
Today, gossip or “making stories” serves a similar purpose.
Whether you like it or not, people will always put a personal spin
on everything you say, and they do it almost instantaneously. Are
their interpretations positive, accurate, or constructive? Probably
not! Following is an illustration of what usually happens when you
speak and others “listen.”
AN EXECUTIVE SAYS ABOUT A POSSIBLE ACQUISITION
“We are looking into all kinds of possibilities that will help us
maintain our viability and profitability.”