Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

286 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Resolution: How would you like to see the situation
resolved?
• “What thoughts do you have on how this can be resolved?”
• “How can we prevent this from happening again?”
• “Next time I’d like to see this happen . . . ”
• “Instead can you do . . . ?”
FEEDBACK TOOL EXPLANATION
STEP ONE: SET THE STAGE
This step gives listeners an opportunity to get ready to hear the
feedback. Or, they may say that now is not a good time. If they are
ready, they will be less reactive. This is usually just one sentence. If
the timing doesn’t work for them, ask them to specify when it will
work.
STEP TWO: STATE THE SITUATION
The second step anchors what you are specifically talking about.
It is the “what,” “where,” or “when.”
STEP THREE: STATE THE BEHAVIOR
WITHOUT INTERPRETATIONS
This third step is very challenging. It helps to write out what
you will say before you give the feedback. You want to have it stated
as a videotape would capture it. You do not want them to say, “No, I
didn’t,” in response; instead, the behavior should be irrefutable.
Here are some BAD examples of how to state behavior:
• “Your attitude has gotten worse.”
They could say, “No it hasn’t.”
• “Your work is sloppy.”
They could say, “No it isn’t.”