Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 287
• “I don’t think you are putting your all into it.”
They could say, “Yes I am.”
Here are some good examples for stating behavior:
• “In the meeting today you raised your voice and were
pointing fi ngers at people.”
• “The customer reports that you were acting rude and were
slow in responding to her.”
• “You told me that you would let me know if you were going
to be late with the project and you never mentioned it.”
The recipients could still try to deny these, but their ground
would be less stable as you are reporting facts rather than
interpretations.
STEP FOUR: STATING THE IMPACT
This is the most important step. Ideally you should have 3-4
impacts. The more impacts the better. This is your leverage to
demonstrate all the people or situations, time, and money that have
been impacted.
• “The customer was disappointed . . . ”
• “Others on the team were angry . . . ”
• “This is a poor reflection on you, because . . . ”
• “Waiting for you to arrive has cost us hundreds of dollars in
wasted time.”
• “We won’t see the impact of this mistake immediately, but
six months from now when we go to renew the order, the
customer may not want to do business with us again.”
STEP FIVE: RESOLUTION
This last step starts with a quiz.
• “What thoughts do you have on how this can be resolved?”
• “How can we prevent this from happening again?”