Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 127
off. All of this leads to more procrastination. This stage of the loop
compounds your performance even more.
Procrastination’s Seduction
SEDUCTION
RESULT
“I better really plan.” Unproductive worry
“I have to carefully prepare.” Avoiding doing anything
“I better rest to ready myself.” Putting off effort
“If I had only had a little more More worry, less effort
time, I would . . . ”
Less-Than-Expected Performance
The task is completed, and of course it is not at the level you
expected. You could have done more, done a better job, started it
sooner, and fi nished it faster. Repetitive “more, better, faster, more,
better, faster” is a sign of a faulty evaluation system.
On Your Case, on Others’ Cases
Your self-talk has pulled the whipping stick out. It is easy and
habitual, and many leaders don’t realize that their internal talk
turns into the same conversation, but it can show up out loud when
you communicate with your direct reports.
• “Why didn’t I get this done sooner?” becomes “Why didn’t
you get it done sooner?”
• “How could I be so stupid?” becomes “What were you
thinking?”
• “I am not cutting it and should have done a lot better”
becomes “You are not cutting it or meeting my expectations.”
Inside your own mind you are usually unaware of how harsh this
kind of negative self-talk sounds. When you speak that way to others,
your harshness can be very demotivating and detrimental. These