Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AVERAGE? 45
school at Pacific. There Carroll learned about the Human Potential
movement, sports psychology, and read Tim Gallwey’s Inner Game
of Tennis and Abraham Maslow’s Religions, Values, and Peak
Experiences. These experiences and books resonated with him
and opened him up to a new leadership style.
As a young coach, he applied what he learned in the classroom to
the practice field. After some tough seasons, he asked his defensive
backs who were having problems which coverages they felt most
comfortable with and which techniques they wanted to practice
more. This approach was rather unconventional compared to the
traditional football hierarchy, which would rarely engage players in
team or coaching strategies. Carroll recalled that his players were
rejuvenated by the meeting. One of his coaches, after hearing what
he had done, said, “Wait just a damn minute, boy. Don’t you ever ask
them what they want. You tell them what they need.” 61 Carroll was
totally deflated by this.
This didn’t last long, though, as he was quickly identified as an
up-and-coming coach with special talent. In the pros, he refi ned his
leadership style when dealing with players one-on-one, sometimes
cracking the whip and other times talking to them about their life.
He certainly was not the authoritarian coach of a Bear Bryant or
Bill Parcells. “That can be a great way to teach, but it’s not for me.
I get more out of you if I connect with you. Instead of knocking you
down . . . I’m going to build you up.” 62 He tries to understand the
player and figures out the best way to inspire them. (Accurate Self-
Assessment, Developing Others, Building Bonds)
After three years working with the New England Patriots, Carroll
was fired and took a year off from coaching to reflect. He read a
book by the late John Wooden, UCLA’s legendary basketball coach,
and Wooden’s concept of “knowing exactly what you want to get
done” was inspiring for him. He thought about what felt natural
for him as a coach and recognized it was his energy, optimism,
and desire to relate directly with his players. “That’s who I am.” If
he believed in himself he figured the players would too. 63 Carroll