Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

156 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
used well, meetings can increase the performance of your team and
build your credibility as the leader. When used poorly, in an undisciplined
way, meetings can waste the organization’s time and money
and derail leadership.
THE MEETING MENACE: FRANK’S STORY
I have attended many corporate meetings, either facilitating
or observing, and I would say that most could run better and that
the members could participate more effectively. This story features
“Frank,” a composite of many leaders I have worked with or witnessed.
I call his kind of leadership “Menacing.”
Frank is a senior member in his organization and has been there
for almost 10 years. He is known to have a temper that occasionally
flares up. In one meeting, he was so upset about the direction his
boss was taking on a particular project that he angrily tossed a wad
of paper across the room, swore loudly, and
Meetings are the
primary tools of a
leader.
shouted, “This makes absolutely no sense!”
His boss happened to be at the meeting
and an awkward, uncomfortable silence
prevailed. No one seemed to know how to
deal with him or the situation.
Frank has a history of being short and gruff. In the past, others
had talked to him about his inability to be a team player, but his
style continued to be confrontational. At meetings he would ask
piercing questions and put others on the defensive. He would then
calmly make his counterpoint, and people would feel embarrassed
and humiliated. Because he is so critical and often volatile, Frank
is negatively affecting the project deliverables and undermining any
teamwork.
In a meeting with a cross-functional action team, Frank got
overly excited and put another member of the team on the spot by
asking endless questions about an interpretation of what a customer
really wanted. Frank proceeded to engage others by asking them to