Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

252 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
to connect with people in a ‘just in time’ process that lets them see
we know them and value them.”
When Davies is unable to read his audience or their reaction, he
conducts a focus group or gives a survey. He knows it is crucial to
establish what the audience is feeling and thinking. Davies emphasizes
that to be a strategic communicator you must be clear about
the target you are trying to hit.
COACHING EXAMPLE
As an Executive Coach, I worked with an executive who had
great difficulty reading his audience’s reactions to his talks. He was
unable to tell if people were receptive, bored, or irritated. On some
unconscious level he was able to read that something was going on,
but unable to discern what it was or what to do differently. Instead
of fi nding out, he would just talk more and more. The audience
felt talked at versus engaged. Because of his inability to read his
audience and change his strategy, his efforts to communicate were
backfi ring on him.
This executive’s career began to derail, as he was simply trying
too hard. All he had to do was stop, ask some questions, and fi nd
out what they needed. The cues were there, but a micro-initiative in
a different direction would have a major impact on his effectiveness
and his career.
6. ACKNOWLEDGE/DO NOT OFFEND
Davies believes it is important to acknowledge what other people
say. Acknowledging also lets the listener know that he or she is being
heard and that his or her ideas count. Davies is generous in giving
clients credit for coming up with ideas and strategies, rather than
having to toot his own horn. He also refuses to threaten or offend
people at a meeting and is extremely concerned that everyone feels
safe when with him. He makes a point, though, of switching what he
is saying or how he is saying it if he is working with a “Contrarian.”