Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

268 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
• Softly look at the person, gazing more at the top part of his
or her face. Do not stare.
• Move away from the computer screen and face whomever
you are listening to.
• Open your body posture. Avoid crossed arms. Don’t keep
looking at your watch.
GIVE BRIEF VERBAL ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Brief verbal acknowledgments let people know you are listening.
These are not the clichés from the barriers listed on page 265. Say
“ah-hah,” “yeah,” “mmmm,” “wow,” “interesting,” “really,” “OK,” “that’s
nice” periodically during the conversation. This is very subtle and
another example of micro-initiatives.
Pace your responses. If you keep interjecting, “That’s nice . . . ,”
it will make whomever you are speaking to think you want him or
her to stop or that you are bored.
MATCHING AND MIRRORING
You can use many kinds of assessments, from the Myers-Briggs
Typing Indicator to the Kolbe, DISC, or Sensory Preference VAK
style (see pages 280-281) to discover how your people operate and
gather information. You can then match or mirror back their particular
orientation to understanding and processing data and make
a strong connection.
The effort you make to identify and use this information with
your team, direct reports, managers, and peers will help propel you
into the top 10% of Star Performers.
QUESTIONS AND ACTION APPLICATIONS
• Which barriers to listening do you do the most?
• Practice adding to the emotional bank account with all
direct reports and key stakeholders.