Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

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SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 121 Notice the quality of the statements above and their effect on you. It is important to first acknowledge what went well, in order to establish the proper perspective in your evaluation and curtail the “more, better, faster” pattern. The following chart shows the difference between the two types of self-evaluations. Circle the terms you experienced as a result of your selfevaluation. ON YOUR CASE ON YOUR SIDE Quality Demanding Respectful Damaging Irrational Over-generalized Constructive Rational Realistic Results Dissatisfied Encouraged Less confident Overwhelmed Action plan for future Energized QUESTIONS AND ACTION APPLICATIONS • How accurate is your evaluation system? • On a scale of 1-100, what percentage of the time are you on your case? • How do you feel after you’ve been on your case? • What are the consequences for you and others for being on your case? • Do you treat others as harshly as you do yourself? • Is this an effective pattern for you to continue with? • If you don’t change this, what do you stand to lose or miss out on?
122 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE • Keep track of the times you have stopped being on your case and then redirected yourself to being on your side. • What is most difficult about being on your side? • What helps you to be on your side? • Keep track in your planner of the percentage of time you are on your side each day, 1-100. 2. REFLECTIONS ON THINKING When we reflect on our thinking, we usually ask ourselves a series of questions, such as: What am I going to do about this proj ect? Why is my co-worker so uncooperative? Why did I get passed over at the last promotion? This is an unconscious process that stimulates the answers. The brain has been compared to a computer, even though it is far more complex. When we ask ourselves a question, our brain runs through its fi les to bring up an answer on our screen of awareness. We take this answer as a fact and move forward without questioning the process. If we ask ourselves poor or unconstructive questions, we will get answers that are negative and not helpful or proactive. Part of being more confident is to be awake and aware when you ask yourself internal questions. When you pay more attention, you may notice that the questions often catalyze a cascade of negative responses and a familiar pattern of Being on Your Case. Your questions can “lead the witness” with inferences that a judge wouldn’t allow in a court of law. The famous “When did you stop beating your wife?” is an example of getting stuck in a nasty loop. Unfortunately, when we ask ourselves self-deprecating questions we rarely come back with an “objection” to the kind of negative answer that comes up. Nor do we consider the fact that this knee-jerk answer may not be true and is simply a reflection of how we have programmed ourselves in the past.
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PRAISE FOR LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL I
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“Leading with Emotional Intellige
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“Dr. Reldan Nadler has provided a
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LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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This book is dedicated to Martin S.
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CONTENTS PREFACE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IN
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CONTENTS xiii CHAPTER THREE: SELF-C
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CONTENTS xv Experiential Teambuildi
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CONTENTS xvii 3. White Space Issues
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PREFACE As a psychologist doing exe
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Iwould like to firs
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INTRODUCTION WHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIG
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INTRODUCTION 3 All of us have exper
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INTRODUCTION 5 LEADERS’ CONSEQUEN
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INTRODUCTION 7 Great leaders, like
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INTRODUCTION 9 ativity, and decisio
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INTRODUCTION 11 the Emotional Quoti
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INTRODUCTION 13 all point to the pa
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INTRODUCTION 15 ▲ What can I do a
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CHAPTER ONE ARE YOU A STAR PERFORME
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ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AV
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Page 94 and 95: ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AV
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CHAPTER FIVE DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOL
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DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEG
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CHAPTER SIX COMMUNICATION AND EMPAT
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COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND
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CHAPTER SEVEN THE GAME PLAN Great l
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THE GAME PLAN 305 • Key executive
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THE GAME PLAN 307 4. Success Rules:
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THE GAME PLAN 309 10. Focus on Stre
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THE GAME PLAN 311 5. What will keep
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THE GAME PLAN 313 MONTH: YEAR: WEEK
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NOTES INTRODUCTION 1. W. Bennis,
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NOTES 317 24. M. Buffett and D. Cla
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NOTES 319 86. M. Buckingham, The On
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NOTES 321 CHAPTER FOUR 1. H. A. Elf
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BIBLIOGRAPHY Alexander, J. “From
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 325 Everts, D. “Carl
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 327 Maslow, A. Toward
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES The following
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 331 EQ Univers
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INDEX Accountability and consequenc
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INDEX 335 Derailers of Bill Clinton
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INDEX 337 Le Doux, Joseph, 86 Leade
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INDEX 339 eight strategies for, 92-
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Reldan S. Nadl
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HOW TO ENGAGE THE AUTHOR TO BRING E
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