Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

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CHAPTER SIX COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND STRATEGIES The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. —George Bernard Shaw (Nobel Prize–winning playwright) This section provides the tools and strategies to help you become a Star Performer in the areas of Communication and Empathy. Communication and Empathy are the foundation of all social or relationship skills. A definition of Communication is illustrated with a research example followed by a Star Profi le of John Davies, founder of Davies Public Relations, a top communication and public relations firm. Davies shares 11 Secrets & Current Practices that help him shine as a Star Performer in Communication. He also describes some of the pitfalls he encounters in his business. The Coach’s Corner presents a definition of Empathy, the research that supports how important it is for peak performance, and 12 proven strategies used by executives and leaders for the development of these skills. It also includes a Star Performer Action Plan, which will help you transform general ideas and concepts into tangible applications for guaranteed performance as a Star Performer. WHAT IS THE COMMUNICATION COMPETENCY? The Communication competency includes listening with an open mind, sending convincing and clear messages, and cultivating an empa- 245
246 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE thetic give-and-take. A speaker reads the emotional cues expressed by the listener and meets the listener by fi ne-tuning his message. For communication to be effective, the message has to be received with the intent intact, just as the sender had planned. Difficult situations and delivering bad news are not easy communications, but a Star Performer knows how to express information diplomatically and directly by creating a free flow and exchange that goes back and forth, until there is mutual understanding of each person’s perspective. 1 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE RESEARCH EXAMPLES The biggest single complaint of Americans in the job force is poor communication with their managers. Two-thirds of those interviewed believe this problem actually prevents them from doing their best work. Another study of 130 executives and managers shows that people prefer working with and relating to others who know how to successfully handle and communicate their emotions and requests. 2 What makes a good communicator? There are five basic skills that determine whether a co-worker is an effective communicator: listening skills, such as asking good questions; being openminded; understanding the other; not interrupting; and asking for suggestions. 3 Are You a Star Performer in communication or just average? Do you regularly and consistently (at least 80% of the time) have an effective give-and-take with others, continually fine-tuning your delivery? STAR PROFILE: JOHN DAVIES, CEO AND FOUNDER, DAVIES PUBLIC RELATIONS In 1985 John Davies founded Davies Public Relations, one of the most successful strategic communications firms in the country. The company has won over 250 awards for excellence in advertising, design, and communications and is the third-largest public relations firm in the state and the top 20 in the nation.
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PRAISE FOR LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL I
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“Leading with Emotional Intellige
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“Dr. Reldan Nadler has provided a
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LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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This book is dedicated to Martin S.
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CONTENTS PREFACE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IN
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CONTENTS xiii CHAPTER THREE: SELF-C
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CONTENTS xv Experiential Teambuildi
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CONTENTS xvii 3. White Space Issues
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PREFACE As a psychologist doing exe
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Iwould like to firs
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INTRODUCTION WHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIG
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INTRODUCTION 3 All of us have exper
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INTRODUCTION 5 LEADERS’ CONSEQUEN
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INTRODUCTION 7 Great leaders, like
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INTRODUCTION 9 ativity, and decisio
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INTRODUCTION 11 the Emotional Quoti
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INTRODUCTION 13 all point to the pa
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INTRODUCTION 15 ▲ What can I do a
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CHAPTER ONE ARE YOU A STAR PERFORME
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ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AV
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CHAPTER TWO EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL
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EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL TOOLS AND ST
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CHAPTER THREE SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS
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SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS AND STRATEGIE
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CHAPTER FOUR TEAMWORK AND COLLABORA
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TEAMWORK AND COLLABORATION TOOLS AN
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CHAPTER FIVE DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOL
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DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEG
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DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEG
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COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND
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CHAPTER SEVEN THE GAME PLAN Great l
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THE GAME PLAN 305 • Key executive
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THE GAME PLAN 307 4. Success Rules:
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THE GAME PLAN 309 10. Focus on Stre
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THE GAME PLAN 311 5. What will keep
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THE GAME PLAN 313 MONTH: YEAR: WEEK
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NOTES INTRODUCTION 1. W. Bennis,
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NOTES 317 24. M. Buffett and D. Cla
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NOTES 319 86. M. Buckingham, The On
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NOTES 321 CHAPTER FOUR 1. H. A. Elf
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BIBLIOGRAPHY Alexander, J. “From
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 325 Everts, D. “Carl
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 327 Maslow, A. Toward
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES The following
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 331 EQ Univers
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INDEX Accountability and consequenc
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INDEX 335 Derailers of Bill Clinton
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INDEX 337 Le Doux, Joseph, 86 Leade
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INDEX 339 eight strategies for, 92-
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Reldan S. Nadl
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HOW TO ENGAGE THE AUTHOR TO BRING E
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