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COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 299
A discussion is a conversation that is
focused on getting closure, usually with
only one or a limited perspective. Discussion
comes from the same word root as concussion
or percussion. It evokes an image
of something being beaten or shaken, and
the result is something that is not whole,
but rather is shattered or broken. Only
pieces or fragments are left. A discussion
is what generally takes place in most organizations
because they are driving to fi nd
one answer, and usually driving too fast
and expecting an answer too quickly. We
know how to drive to one solution, but what
we don’t know as well is how to stay with
the ambiguity and entertain multiple solutions to get the best answer.
That’s where dialogue comes in. There is a time for discussion, but not
at the exclusion of dialogue (which is usually the result).
Here is a continuum that illustrates the process from debate and
discussion to dialogue. 17
DISCUSSION-DIALOGUE CONTINUUM
We know how
to drive to one
solution, but
what we don’t
know as well is
how to stay with
the ambiguity
and entertain
multiple solutions
to get the best
answer.
DEBATE AND DISCUSSION
Breaking issues into pieces
and fragments
Finding distinctions and exceptions
DIALOGUE
Seeing the whole among parts
Finding connection and patterns
Taking stands and justifying
Telling and selling
Finding one answer
Inquiring into assumptions
Learning and seeking
understanding
Creating shared meaning
through multiple descriptions
Adapted from Ellinor and Gerard, Dialogue: Rediscovering the Transforming
Power of Conversation (1998).