Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

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COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 289 SUMMARY TIPS FOR GIVING FEEDBACK • If it is important, make an appointment to give the feedback. • Be sensitive to the power imbalance (i.e., doing it in your office versus a neutral ground). • Keep it simple. • Leverage their strengths. • Prepare the feedback to fit the learning style. • Offer suggestions and support. • Get their feedback about the feedback. QUESTIONS AND ACTION APPLICATIONS • How would you rate how well you give feedback? • Practice the SSBIR model and ask for feedback on how well you communicated. • Teach the feedback model to your team and practice giving feedback using real-life scenarios. Discuss which statements seemed to best hit the mark. • Make feedback a process that you are getting feedback on and continually try to improve it. 8. ASSUMPTION LADDER: ARRIVING AND DELIVERING COMMUNICATION Communication is the mechanism to deliver your thoughts to others. These next strategies are all about our thinking process and how to communicate our thoughts. We will start off <strong>with</strong> defi ning mental models—how did you arrive at them and how can you deliver them to others to be most effective. WHAT IS A MENTAL MODEL? Deepak Chopra stated that we have as many as 60,000 thoughts a day. Ninety-five percent of those thoughts are the same ones we had yesterday. 14 Why is that? The same thoughts keep recycling,
290 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE and that is one reason we use only 5-10% of our brainpower. These same or similar thoughts form patterns or clusters of our beliefs, yet leave out a plethora of other possible views. Senge defi nes “mental models” as “deeply ingrained assumptions, . . . we have as many as 60,000 thoughts a day. Ninety-five percent of those thoughts are the same ones we had yesterday. generalizations, or even pictures or images that influence how we understand the world and how we take action.” The term mental model has been used by psychologists since the 1940s. Cognitive psychologists, cognitive scientists, and more recently managers use the term. In his book The Fifth Discipline, Senge popularized the term as one of his five disciplines. In the Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, “mental model” is defi ned as “both the semi-permanent tacit ‘maps’ of the world which people hold in their long-term memory, and the short-term perceptions which people build up as part of their everyday reasoning process.” 15 WHY IS UNDERSTANDING OUR MENTAL MODELS IMPORTANT? The mental models we carry around are usually invisible to us and others yet are very powerful in their influence over our actions and responses to anything that occurs in our world. Often these mental models hold us prisoners to the “same old story” when openness to new learning is necessary to grow and advance in our careers. To continually learn and grow we must think and act differently, and our invisible mental models hold us back like a prisoner’s ball and chain. As a leader, it is important to make explicit your thinking. We have the tendency to take shortcuts when we think and speak. People don’t have the benefit of seeing our thinking process, what we focused in on, what we discounted, or what building blocks we crafted to support our thoughts and decisions. So isn’t it natural that people may
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PRAISE FOR LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL I
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“Leading with Emotional Intellige
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“Dr. Reldan Nadler has provided a
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LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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This book is dedicated to Martin S.
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CONTENTS PREFACE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IN
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CONTENTS xiii CHAPTER THREE: SELF-C
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CONTENTS xv Experiential Teambuildi
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CONTENTS xvii 3. White Space Issues
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PREFACE As a psychologist doing exe
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Iwould like to firs
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INTRODUCTION WHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIG
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INTRODUCTION 3 All of us have exper
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INTRODUCTION 5 LEADERS’ CONSEQUEN
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INTRODUCTION 7 Great leaders, like
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INTRODUCTION 9 ativity, and decisio
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INTRODUCTION 11 the Emotional Quoti
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INTRODUCTION 13 all point to the pa
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INTRODUCTION 15 ▲ What can I do a
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CHAPTER ONE ARE YOU A STAR PERFORME
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ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AV
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CHAPTER TWO EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL
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EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL TOOLS AND ST
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CHAPTER THREE SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS
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SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS AND STRATEGIE
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CHAPTER FOUR TEAMWORK AND COLLABORA
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TEAMWORK AND COLLABORATION TOOLS AN
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CHAPTER FIVE DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOL
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DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEG
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Page 262 and 263: DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEG
Page 268 and 269: CHAPTER SIX COMMUNICATION AND EMPAT
Page 270 and 271: COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND
Page 326 and 327: CHAPTER SEVEN THE GAME PLAN Great l
Page 328 and 329: THE GAME PLAN 305 • Key executive
Page 330 and 331: THE GAME PLAN 307 4. Success Rules:
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Page 334 and 335: THE GAME PLAN 311 5. What will keep
Page 336 and 337: THE GAME PLAN 313 MONTH: YEAR: WEEK
Page 338 and 339: NOTES INTRODUCTION 1. W. Bennis,
Page 340 and 341: NOTES 317 24. M. Buffett and D. Cla
Page 342 and 343: NOTES 319 86. M. Buckingham, The On
Page 344 and 345: NOTES 321 CHAPTER FOUR 1. H. A. Elf
Page 346 and 347: BIBLIOGRAPHY Alexander, J. “From
Page 348 and 349: BIBLIOGRAPHY 325 Everts, D. “Carl
Page 350 and 351: BIBLIOGRAPHY 327 Maslow, A. Toward
Page 352 and 353: ADDITIONAL RESOURCES The following
Page 354 and 355: ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 331 EQ Univers
Page 356 and 357: INDEX Accountability and consequenc
Page 358 and 359: INDEX 335 Derailers of Bill Clinton
Page 360 and 361: INDEX 337 Le Doux, Joseph, 86 Leade
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INDEX 339 eight strategies for, 92-
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Reldan S. Nadl
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HOW TO ENGAGE THE AUTHOR TO BRING E
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