Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

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COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 295 • “You are up on the ladder on this one.” • “Can you make your thinking more visible?” • “What are your assumptions in this decision?” DO’S AND DON’TS WHEN USING THE LADDER DO Get people to hold your ladder as you go up Open up for multiple viewpoints Invite others to challenge you Practice walking up and down the ladder Listen and inquire versus just advocating DON’T Use the ladder as a weapon Try to knock others off their ladder Get defensive Expect this to be easy Advocate without inquiry QUESTIONS AND ACTION APPLICATIONS • Introduce mental models and the ladder to your team. • Pick a facilitator to help integrate the ladder by inquiring which rung people are on and encouraging them to walk up the ladder. • Get copies of the ladder for everyone to use and get a poster of the ladder for your conference room. • Use the ladder if there is a disagreement and see if the data and selection of data are the same. If so, go to the varying assumptions and locate where the disagreement lies. 9. BALANCING INQUIRY AND ADVOCACY In The Fifth Discipline, Senge introduces the concept of balancing inquiry and advocacy. This is where you ask more about the other person’s viewpoints instead of only advocating your own. This concept is borrowed from “action science,” a field of inquiry devel-
296 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE oped by Chris Argyris and Donald Schon. Their goal is to explore the reasoning and attitudes that underlie human interaction. It uncovers a person’s “mental models,” those tacit assumptions and stories we carry in our mind about people, places, things, and every aspect of our world. These mental models are mental maps, usually untested and unexamined. Balancing inquiry and advocacy is another tool to help unearth and get a tangible handle on what people’s mental models are. Without imposing discipline on teams engaged in a discussion, what we generally hear are the propositions, ideas, or recommendations that people are advocating. Often this stuff is expressed with a great deal of passion, and so instead of inquiring about the recommendations and specific assumptions made, there is often passionate disagreement as well, without any resolution or clarity. What is needed is to balance the natural emotional process of advocating with the unnatural, more rational process of inquiry. It is a good idea to question people about how they arrived at their decision and then dig into their assumptions to understand more. The best way to proceed is to improve the team’s inquiry process. Ask the following questions: • Tell me, how did you make this decision or recommendation? • What things were you considering with this idea? • What assumptions underlie this recommendation? • Is there a time this solution wouldn’t work? • What would you need to make this successful? • How long do you think this process would take? • What potential risks have you considered? QUESTIONS AND ACTION APPLICATIONS • In one of your meetings, introduce the concept of balancing inquiry and advocacy. • Have people use inquiry with the existing ideas on the table before going on to the next idea.
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PRAISE FOR LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL I
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“Leading with Emotional Intellige
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“Dr. Reldan Nadler has provided a
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LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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This book is dedicated to Martin S.
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CONTENTS PREFACE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IN
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CONTENTS xiii CHAPTER THREE: SELF-C
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CONTENTS xv Experiential Teambuildi
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CONTENTS xvii 3. White Space Issues
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PREFACE As a psychologist doing exe
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Iwould like to firs
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INTRODUCTION WHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIG
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INTRODUCTION 3 All of us have exper
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INTRODUCTION 5 LEADERS’ CONSEQUEN
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INTRODUCTION 7 Great leaders, like
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INTRODUCTION 9 ativity, and decisio
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INTRODUCTION 11 the Emotional Quoti
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INTRODUCTION 13 all point to the pa
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INTRODUCTION 15 ▲ What can I do a
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CHAPTER ONE ARE YOU A STAR PERFORME
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ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AV
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CHAPTER TWO EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL
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EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL TOOLS AND ST
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CHAPTER THREE SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS
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SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS AND STRATEGIE
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CHAPTER FOUR TEAMWORK AND COLLABORA
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TEAMWORK AND COLLABORATION TOOLS AN
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CHAPTER FIVE DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOL
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DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEG
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Page 268 and 269: CHAPTER SIX COMMUNICATION AND EMPAT
Page 270 and 271: COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND
Page 326 and 327: CHAPTER SEVEN THE GAME PLAN Great l
Page 328 and 329: THE GAME PLAN 305 • Key executive
Page 330 and 331: THE GAME PLAN 307 4. Success Rules:
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Page 334 and 335: THE GAME PLAN 311 5. What will keep
Page 336 and 337: THE GAME PLAN 313 MONTH: YEAR: WEEK
Page 338 and 339: NOTES INTRODUCTION 1. W. Bennis,
Page 340 and 341: NOTES 317 24. M. Buffett and D. Cla
Page 342 and 343: NOTES 319 86. M. Buckingham, The On
Page 344 and 345: NOTES 321 CHAPTER FOUR 1. H. A. Elf
Page 346 and 347: BIBLIOGRAPHY Alexander, J. “From
Page 348 and 349: BIBLIOGRAPHY 325 Everts, D. “Carl
Page 350 and 351: BIBLIOGRAPHY 327 Maslow, A. Toward
Page 352 and 353: ADDITIONAL RESOURCES The following
Page 354 and 355: ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 331 EQ Univers
Page 356 and 357: INDEX Accountability and consequenc
Page 358 and 359: INDEX 335 Derailers of Bill Clinton
Page 360 and 361: INDEX 337 Le Doux, Joseph, 86 Leade
Page 362 and 363: INDEX 339 eight strategies for, 92-
Page 364 and 365: ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Reldan S. Nadl
Page 366 and 367: HOW TO ENGAGE THE AUTHOR TO BRING E
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