Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On ... - always yours

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SELF-CONFIDENCE TOOLS AND STRATEGIES 125 FIGURE 3.1 SIX STAGES OF THE PERFECTION LOOP 1. Perfection as an expectation 6. Must do better next time 2. Stress and pressure going into the task; procrastination 5. Less confident about yourself and others 4. On your case, on others’ cases 3. Less-thanexpected performance This pattern occurs unconsciously, repeatedly, and quickly. Before you know it, you are in it. The goal of identifying this loop is to: • Become aware of the unproductive pattern • Understand the steps that cause it and how they influence behavior and performance • Know what to change to get different results
126 LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Perfection as an Expectation The goals you set are very lofty and made without the benefit of critical thinking or truly examining their feasibility. “Perfection” rationalizes that you need to stretch and push yourself, so you set goals that are extreme, unrealistic, unattainable, and without the slightest margin of error. A thorough assessment of what it takes to reach them is not made, and you are doomed to complete the loop. Most of the time the effort, resources, and training you need to accomplish the goals are not taken into consideration. In Pure Genius, Dan Sullivan talks about the differences between ideals and goals and how we often evaluate ourselves against the ideal and always fall short. He uses the example of the horizon, which, even though we can see it, doesn’t really exist. If we chase the horizon, it keeps moving back and we never reach it. Sullivan recommends that we ask ourselves where we have come from and assess our progress in achieving our goal. This evaluation will leave us feeling better about our progress. If perfectionism is not curtailed, it will thrust you into the endless Perfection Loop, which is like being thrown into rapids where the force of the water controls where we go. Stress and Pressure Going into the Task; Procrastination Extreme expectations influence your state of achieving this goal. Pressure, anxiety, and stress accompany the preparation for the task and can have an impact on the focus and creativity needed to move toward the unattainable goal. On an unconscious level, you know that the task is overwhelming and that you have set yourself up for failure. This only adds to your anxiety. One typical response is procrastination disguised as giving yourself time to get ready. It’s going to take all your effort so “planning” is actually worrying, “preparing” is actually avoiding, and “resting” is actually putting
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PRAISE FOR LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL I
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“Leading with Emotional Intellige
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“Dr. Reldan Nadler has provided a
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LEADING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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This book is dedicated to Martin S.
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CONTENTS PREFACE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IN
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CONTENTS xiii CHAPTER THREE: SELF-C
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CONTENTS xv Experiential Teambuildi
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CONTENTS xvii 3. White Space Issues
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PREFACE As a psychologist doing exe
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Iwould like to firs
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INTRODUCTION WHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIG
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INTRODUCTION 3 All of us have exper
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INTRODUCTION 5 LEADERS’ CONSEQUEN
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INTRODUCTION 7 Great leaders, like
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INTRODUCTION 9 ativity, and decisio
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INTRODUCTION 11 the Emotional Quoti
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INTRODUCTION 13 all point to the pa
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INTRODUCTION 15 ▲ What can I do a
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CHAPTER ONE ARE YOU A STAR PERFORME
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ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AV
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Page 98 and 99: ARE YOU A STAR PERFORMER OR JUST AV
Page 106 and 107: CHAPTER TWO EMOTIONAL SELF-CONTROL
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TEAMWORK AND COLLABORATION TOOLS AN
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CHAPTER FIVE DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOL
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DEVELOPING OTHERS TOOLS AND STRATEG
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CHAPTER SIX COMMUNICATION AND EMPAT
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COMMUNICATION AND EMPATHY TOOLS AND
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CHAPTER SEVEN THE GAME PLAN Great l
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THE GAME PLAN 305 • Key executive
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THE GAME PLAN 307 4. Success Rules:
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THE GAME PLAN 309 10. Focus on Stre
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THE GAME PLAN 311 5. What will keep
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THE GAME PLAN 313 MONTH: YEAR: WEEK
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NOTES INTRODUCTION 1. W. Bennis,
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NOTES 317 24. M. Buffett and D. Cla
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NOTES 319 86. M. Buckingham, The On
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NOTES 321 CHAPTER FOUR 1. H. A. Elf
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BIBLIOGRAPHY Alexander, J. “From
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 325 Everts, D. “Carl
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BIBLIOGRAPHY 327 Maslow, A. Toward
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES The following
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 331 EQ Univers
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INDEX Accountability and consequenc
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INDEX 335 Derailers of Bill Clinton
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INDEX 337 Le Doux, Joseph, 86 Leade
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INDEX 339 eight strategies for, 92-
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Reldan S. Nadl
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HOW TO ENGAGE THE AUTHOR TO BRING E
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