12.Practice.Tests.for.the.SAT_2015-2016_1128p

12 Practice Tests for the SAT
196
Practice Test Two Answers an d Exp l anations
the desire to practice and practice every day, she wouldn't
have become an expert skater.
But athletes aren't the only ones who become champions.
Look at Kelly Clarkson, the winner of American Idol. She has
a great voice and is a very talented singer, but no one really
knew who she was until she won the TV competition. All
of the contestants chosen for the show had talent, but only
one could win, and she did it by having more motivation
and desire than anyone else.
These examples show that having a little something extra
to add to your talent is critical for becoming an expert in
your field. You really need more motivation than talent if
you want to be a champion, like Muhammad Ali says in the
quote.
4 Score Critique
All essays are evaluated on four basic criteria: Topic,
Support, Organization, and Language. This essay stays
on topic throughout, beginning with a clear statement of
the author's opinion followed by two examples and an
adequate conclusion. Although both examples offer some
support for the writer's thesis, neither of them is developed
enough to be convincing. The author needs to show what
truly differentiated Kwan and Clarkson from their peers,
for her inference that each had more motivation than
their peers remains largely unsubstantiated by additional
evidence or information.
The essay's organization is satisfactory, although the
introduction lacks a clear plan of how the author will
develop her argument. Likewise, the transition between
examples is weak, in the form of a sentence fragment
starting with But at the beginning of the third paragraph.
The conclusion consists of a repetition of the author's
declaration in the introduction but does neatly refer to the
prompt to wrap up the essay.
Overall, the writer's language is satisfactory, with only a few
minor grammatical flaws to detract from her essay.
2 Score Essay
Anyone can really want to do something but only people
who actually have a skill can be true experts. I'd love to be
a famous actress but I failed my drama classes and hated
being onstage. So it didn't matter-how much I wanted
to do this because I just didn't have any talent. And my
brother wants to be a famous writer but he always gets
bad grades in English class no matter how hard he tries or
how much time he spends on his homework. That's how
it happens for lots of people who want something alot
but fail because they don't have talent. Like the guys who
got eliminated from the TV show Manhunt. They were all
really cute but some of them just couldn't make it in the
modeling business because they were too tall or had the
wrong attitude or couldn't express emotion when working
with famous female models or professional photographers,
etc. So they didn't succeed even though they all said they
really really wanted to be the next top male model. And the
same thing happened to a lot of contestants on other TV
shows like Survivor or Big Brother. They all wanted to win
but couldn't because everyone got voted off except the final
person who played the best. Only that person was really
an expert and was champion because of it. In conclusion,
it doesn't matter how badly you want something because
just wanting it isn't enough. You need to have some talent
or skill too.
2 Score Critique
All essays are evaluated on four basic criteria: Topic,
Support, Organization, and Language. This essay begins with
a clear statement of the writer's opinion of the topic in the
assignment. To support her opinion, the writer immediately
provides two personal examples, neither of which is
sufficiently developed. Additional examples from several
television shows comprise the bulk of the essay, but again,
none of these examples are developed in detail, and they
simply appear as a series of statements that are only weakly
tied to the writer's main point.
The scattered organization of this essay is its most serious
flaw. The introduction consists of a single sentence, and the
two sentences of the conclusion merely repeat what the
author has already declared earlier in her essay. The second
example about the writer's brother is not clearly related to
the author's thesis, and the essay contains few transitions
between ideas, making the author's logic difficult to follow.
In addition, the one-paragraph structure of this essay
suggests that the author herself doesn't understand how
to differentiate between her examples or develop them
individually to provide support for her thesis.