12.Practice.Tests.for.the.SAT_2015-2016_1128p

12 Practice Tests for t h e SAT
464
Practice Test Five Answers and Explanations
My mot h er l et me h e l p take care of h er an d I was h appier.
It was fun to give h er a bat h . I even started giving h er baby
food after a few mont h s. I fe l t more inc l uded and I h ad
good fee l ings w h en my mom said I was a great big sister.
S h e got o ld er and cou ld ta l k it was nice. I remember w h en
we went on a fami l y trip to visit my grandparents in Canada
and h a d a good time p l aying wit h my sister. We went to
tl h e beac h a l ot and bui l t sandcast l es on Lake Mic h agin. We
aug h e d and gigg l ed a l ot.
So, my sister is o ld er and at sc h oo l , I h e l p h er wit h er
omewor k
h and s h e rea ll y l ooks up to me. I s h ow h er
ow to p l ay new t h ings s h e h as even s h own me some
tricks. Having a l itt l e sister is neat. I am trying to be a good
examp l e. I t h ink t h is experience rea ll y h e l ped me seeing
t h at t h ings in l ife c h anges a l ot and so do peop l e.
4 Score Critique
A ll essays are eva l uated on four basic criteria: Topic,
Support, Organization, and Language. T h e aut h or begins
t h is essay wit h a persona l examp l e to support h er
understanding of t prompt. However, s h e fai l s to take a
c l ear position on t h e question in t h e assignment. By trying
to support bot h sides of t h e issue, s h e fai l s to do a so l id job
of supporting eit h er one.
T h e organization of t h is essay cou ld be improved wit
transitiona l words or p h rases between paragrap h s to
h
h e l p t h e rea der navigate t h e essay. A l t h oug h t h e essay
is structured appropriate l y, wit h a c l ear introduction and
conc l usion surrounding two body paragrap h s, t h e ideas
expressed are not strong l y l inked in a l ogica l manner,
suggesting t h at t h e aut h or didn't spend enoug h time
p l anning h er essay before s h e began to write.
Th h is writer cou ld a l so improve h er score by strengt h ening
er grammar an d usage ski ll s. Her vocabu l ary is vague
in p l aces (some, things), and s h e uses attending w h ere
attention wou ld be correct. T h ere is some unc l ear
pronoun usage (they in t e second paragrap h , her and
she in t h e t h ird paragrap h ), severa l spe ll ing mistakes (alot
instead of a lot, Michagin instead of Michigan), and a
few grammatica l errors (Did I want instead of Whether I
wanted in t h e first paragrap h , and things in life changes
instea d of things in life change in t h e fina l sentence. S h e
a l so makes some fragment and run-on errors (a sentence
beginning wit h So in t h e fourt h paragrap h and run-ons in
t h e t h ird and fourt h paragrap h s). A l t h oug h a few minor
grammar or usage errors wi ll not h urt t h e score of a strong
essay, t h is writer s h ou ld l eave time to proofread to correct
any errors t h at detract from t h e l ogic and readabi l ity of h er
essay.
2 Score Essay
T h ings c h ange but I don't ave to c h ange if I don't want
to. I saw somet h ing t h e ot h er nig h t about h ow if you don't
try h in l ife you won't win. But w h at can you do w h en t h ings
appen t h at you h ave no contro l over? T h e s h ow was
ca ll ed Fear Factor and it was about peop l e h aving to h ave
a l ot of strent h and bravery to meet t h ere goa l s. One guy
actua ll y ate t h e insects for food because t h ere was not h ing
e l se. And I cou ld not do it if h
h e cou ld, h e wou ld win and
e did. T h e ot h ers were rea ll y disappointed and h a d to be
e l iminated. T h ats w h at h appens if you don't app l y yourse l f
to t h ings.
e on l y way to rea ll y get w h at you want is to keep trying.
T h ings can c h ange but you don't h ave to c h ange at a ll if
peop l e keep t h eir eye on t h e ba ll . So no matter w h at t h e
odds. You are sti ll a good person for trying and you mig h t
even win in t h e end. My dad ran a marat h on because h e
trained every day. It wasn't easy, but h e did it every day,
even t h oug h h e h ad to t h ink about bigger t h ings outside
im se lf l i ke a job and h is fami l
h y to consi der. I rea ll y admire
im for it an d started running too for aw h i l e. You can
make bigger c h anges for yourse l f t h an w h ats h appening
around you.
2 Score Critique
A ll essays are eva l uated on four basic criteria: Topic,
Support, Organization, and Language. T h is essay does
address t h e prompt, but t h e supporting examp l es are weak
and confusing. T h is makes t h e essay difficu l t to fo ll ow, since
t h e reader doesn't know w h at point t h e writer is trying to
make.
T h e writer provides two different examp l es in t h e two
paragrap h s, but neit h er fu ll y supports h is position re l ated to
t h e prompt. Simi l ar l y, t h e essay's organization is extreme l y
weak, since t h e aut h or doesn't provide a c l ear introduction,
conc l usion, or transitions between paragrap h s. T h is writer
needs to spend more time p l anning so h e h as an out l ine to
fo ll ow w h i l e h e's producing h is essay.