20-24 septembrie 2009 - Biblioteca Metropolitana Bucuresti

624 Spartak Kadiub) To involve in the selection of the matchmaker or in the engagementarrangements,c) To interfere in the arrangements for shoes or clothes. 3Among Albanian highlanders, the head of the house always used toask the father or the mother of the son or daughter to be married. The headof the family used to select the daughter-in-law, and usually used to get anadvice not only from the men of the house, but also from the relatives. Inthe course of the selection of the daughter-in-law, the head of the house hadto find a wife belonging to his social strata, coming from a good home, arich girl, hard-working, etc. In addition, the father of the daughter had thesame requirements for the son-in-law.The negotiations for the proposal of a young woman were not madedirectly by her parents, but through the matchmaker. The matchmakingwas an institution that preceded the engagement and the marriage. It wasa reflection of the patriarchal qualities of the family, where the parentsdecide for the fate of their children. The matchmaking was sanctionedin the customs right: “There cannot be a bride without matchmaking”.(Tirta, 2003: 274)In general, the matchmaker had to be a friend of two families, and agood expert of the tradition. Such person could be the uncle of the girl.In some regions, the matchmaker could be a relative of the son’s family,whereas in Kosova, the role of the matchmaker was played by a relative ofthe son’s house. The matchmaker could never be a woman. Symbolically,in exchange of his service, the matchmaker was given a pair of shoes, as asign of the “worn out shoes”. Lately, the matchmaker uses to take a reward,as a symbolic present.Betrothal of the girl is an agreement between the masters or parents ofthe son and daughter for the future marriage The term engagement was notused in Albania, usually was called “taking”, matchmaking”, covering”,‘betrothal’. The term of “engagement” began to be used in the beginning ofXX century. In the Civil Code of 1929, the engagement was considered ajuridical institution, whose breaking used to cause juridical consequences.(Tirta, 2003: 275)Usually, both parts (3-4 people from each side) after the offering ofsweets, they used to exchange the signs. This was acted by a relative of theson, usually the head of the house or the matchmaker who leave it on a trayto father of the girl. The Kanun of Lek Dukagjini determines the sign, as“a fake silver ring... and 10 coins are in the kanun”. However, the sign can3Kanun of Leke 1989: 19.