23.7. 1993 Vitoria-Gasteiz / Spain - World Federation of Music Therapy

These painful memories often arise before the
recovering addict reaches steps four and 10 of the 12step
recovery program, when moral and personal
inventories are brought into focus. The processing of
memories and feelings can overlap with the other steps.
For example, in a session I had asked the participants
to see, in their mind's eye, a symbol of victory, whatever
symbol their imagination presented to them. Rather
than seeing a victory symbol Matt was immediately
drawn into a troubling memory of his "dope man"
holding a gun to his head because Matt owed him
money. Matt couldn't understand why the memory
stayed with him so inintensely throughout the hour
session. He kept mentally processing and spoke about
his experience several times with puzzlement. Finally,
he realized that another piece of the memory was what
had kept him so deeply involved. He remembered that
his sister had bought him a truck, and he had sold the
truck to get drug money. He was feeling "awful" about
611
what he had done to his sister. He said, "I wonder if I'll
have to make it right with her before I can get well?"
Matt had not yet reached step nine of the 12 steps. This
step requires the making of amends to those who have
been hurt or wronged by actions of the addict. Matt's
imagery, however, propelled him forward, skipping a
number of steps through which he would yet have to
work. The reliving of the memory and the accompanying
intense emotions compelled him to confront a situation
vital to his recovery.
Teachings that come from within are powerful
motivators and are not easily forgotten. They can be
claimed as the imager's own, offering the beginning of a
sense of self-value and self-control. One positive step,
making amends with his sister, could, in some measure,
alleviate Matt's feelings of helplessness and shame.