sempozyum_bildiri_kitabi

Begum among others cited in Widows and Half Widows reflect the unsympathetic attitude of the inlaws:
Sakina Bano (name changed), [is] a young widow living in Srinagar’s old city. Thirtyyear‐old
Sakina lost her husband, Naseer Ahmad in August 2003. Naseer was a militant
and was associated with one of the militant organizations for 10 years. “After marriage, he
left the militant outfit and was leading a normal life. One day while he was sitting at a
nearby shop, some unidentified gunmen came and shot him dead instantly.” Sakina’s two
daughters are studying in a private school. Sakina, along with her children, was driven out
by her in‐laws. “Since my father‐in‐law is alive, we are not entitled to property. [emphasis
added].” 7
Shahzada Begum, [in her early thirties] widow of Mohammad Khan and resident of
Kanchan in Uri faces such dilemma. Immediately after her husband’s death, she was
forced to vacate her in‐laws’ house. As if this was not enough, her closest relative
rendered her jobless, SRO‐43 was denied in her favour and widow‐pension was
rejected….An Anganwadi centre functioned in her house that brought a few bucks for her
but later her brother‐in‐law got that shifted to his own house leaving her in penury and in
a helpless condition.“It has been a tough time for me to eke out a living for my children
since the death of my husband….After he was killed, security forces and some other
people harassed me for a long time…I was working as a helper in that centre and that
financially supported my family to a certain extent. But everything is over now.” 8
Shahzada Begum experiences a deep pain of betrayal at the change in the attitude of her brotherin‐law,
who by taking away her only source of income the “Anganwadi centre” uncomfortably makes
her aware of the unstable family relations. She understands her susceptibility not just in the face of
outsiders but within her own world of kinship. The forced status as “single women” coupled with
societal biases at times results in widows/half widows facing social isolation, humiliation, and
vulnerability. Being “without a man,” they are under constant vigil by their family and outsiders‐ how
they dress, whom they meet, where they go, who visits them, etc. On the one hand burdened with
family responsibilities, and on the other, under constant social surveillance, these destitute women
face hard and stressful lives in limbo.
Rashid’s documentation of testimonios is also to “influence the social flow of events” 9 in a
conservative Kashmiri society where remarriage in case a girl meets some unpleasant incident after a
few days of her marriage is difficult as it carries social and cultural taboos. Then what about the
remarriage of these widows who have children, especially daughters? It becomes all the more
convoluted and challenging. Young men seldom come forward and it is only older men who opt to
marry the half widows/widows and many a time these women are cheated and deserted after
remarriage. Nazim Jan’s husband was killed by unidentified gunmen in early 1990 in his house in
Thatmullah, Azadpur in border area of Uri:
“Life was difficult as I had five young children (three daughters and two sons).They
were too young and couldn’t earn a livelihood. I tried hard to make a living.” Thinking that
re‐marriage would ease her problems, Nazim Jan re‐married. Her second husband, a
widower, also had children. “My (second) husband told me to live with my children at my
first husband’s place and he would be visiting me there only. He also assured to financially
support my family. For one month he provided us with ration but later on turned his back
on us... [emphasis added].” 10
Nazim Jan was duped by her second husband.Her second husband could read her powerlessness
that she is a poor widow who opted for second marriage for survival; exploiting her helplessness he
abused her trust and faith in him. Without money, she could neither go to the police to lodge a
complaint nor hire a lawyer to sue the man.Her experience is directly related to her material
conditions and gender. To be poor is to lack access to power, resources and opportunities. Not only is