sempozyum_bildiri_kitabi

intervening time she got a job in All India Radio. However, her economic independence was a threat
to her husband. He would tell people, “She goes to office. God knows who all she has relations with!
Give me five rupees if you have, I’ll assuage my pain. Those are the kinds of circumstances I was living
in! It’s not as if I was being obstinate. I was just beating time to those circumstances.” 9 Instead of
appreciating her creative skills and her determination to share family responsibilities the husband
wanted her money to satisfy his unquenchable thirst for drinking.
Unable to cope with sarcasm, taunts and torture she divorced her husband. But met all kinds of
acerbic accusations, all kinds of lurid gossip: daughter of a Brahmin divorced her husband. In Duggar
culture husband is an embodiment of god. Once married a woman can leave her husband’s house
only after death. Whatever be the circumstances she has to accept them as her destiny. A mother
always cautions her daughter to reach her husband’s house in‐‐‐‐‐and leave it on pyre. All those who
felt sorry for her pitiable state earlier, now could not tolerate her assertion of courage. They looked
upon her with suspicion and reacted to her divorce in a very negative way which appalled her. She
could see the hypocrisy of people. When she was in marital relationship people around her advised
her to get out of it but when she actually decided to move out, nobody was ready to help her. She
faced social boycott to the extent that some cruel people of the town gave an application to the
Director of Jammu radio station, with a request that a woman who has divorced her husband should
no longer be retained in service. Such was the stigma attached to a divorcee. A woman struggling to
carve out a decent living outside wedlock was unacceptable in Duggar society of those times.
Struggling against the tide it was on Diwali day when she first read the news in Dogri over the
radio in 1964. It was a day of triumph for her, a slap on the face of all those who underestimated her
and labeled her a woman of loose character because she was a divorcee. This was in a sense, her first
victory in male dominated society.
There was lot of recognition for her poems. This was an enormous compliment for her. So she
began to grow even more! In February 1961, a cultural troupe was to go abroad for the first time,
and she was part of that troupe. It is after this that she became conscious of her own power; she
could face challenges. She came back to Jammu with this self assurance. It is true that a woman can
bring herself to reconcile with a situation up to a point, but not at the cost of her‐self respect and
dignity. If there is no respect, love has no meaning. But where do women ask even for respect! They
only say please don’t insult them. With this kind of emancipation there was no turning back for her.
Everyone blamed her for the divorce though it was Deep Pal, her husband, who had actually asked
her for divorce but once she was economically independent she had to go through the torture of
people with all kinds of snide remarks. They could not believe as Padma Sachdeva says “…No man
can accept the fact that a woman can leave him and carve out a better future for herself.” 10 Rather
they would have been happier if she had gone through the rough times and still stayed with her
husband forever.
After her second marriage things shaped up better, her second husband encouraged her in her
pursuit. Her mother‐ in‐ law was very fond of her and was always supportive and was very happy
when Padma won her first award of five thousand rupees for her book. Dogri Sanstha, a literary
organization, in Jammu also celebrated her success and accepted her creative genius, recognized her
as a poetess, an individual without any inhibition.
From this time onwards there was no looking back. The courage and confidence which she could
display in the later part of her life was definitely the outcome of economic independence and
empowerment which she attained through her work. She was supported and accepted by the
outside world and she was able to share a platform with men.
All this was possible because she refused to stay confined into the docile, self‐sacrificing,
suffering, submitting and adjusting circumstances of Duggar women. Education enlightened her. In
the preface, Padma Sachdeva observes: “Life is like an ocean. An individual is just a drop. But when I
sit down to look back in my life, I discover a virtual sea of people, events, situations and relationships
of a bewildering variety.” 11 She is right and has drawn a graphic picture of her life and struggle, which
is very instructive. The awareness of injustice meted out to her in her marital life made her rebel
against the biased attitude of society. As a result she started challenging the traditional social norms