sempozyum_bildiri_kitabi

My father passed away while I was in Syria, he couldn’t cope with what happened … it
was too much for his heart to handle. It was a tough period as I had no relatives, friends or
family. I felt sorry for myself for being Palestinian; for being land‐less and away from my
family. (Siham)
In the mid‐sixties, Siham moved to Amman and felt happy for the first time in years. This was
perhaps because she felt a stronger sense of familiarity and belonging in Amman; she “felt human
again”. Shortly after, Siham’s husband got a job offer in Saudi Arabia, but she decided to stay with
her children in Amman; she was working for Palestine and feeling some fulfilment again. But this
drastically changed after the events of Black September of 1970.
The same group of ladies who attended lectures with me before 1970, who worked for
the cause with me, now only spoke of diamonds, furniture and Ajami carpets. Where did
all the awareness disappear? ... I couldn’t tolerate staying in Amman, not like this.
Therefore I took the decision to move back to Kuwait and stay with my husband. (Siham)
The transition in Siham’s feelings pre and post 1970 led her to choose to spend the 70s as a
mother and wife away from politics. It was only after her children went off to universities that she
pursued her passion again and worked for Palestine. Siham joined the Palestinian Women’s Union in
Kuwait and worked on eradicating illiteracy among Palestinian children.
In the 1990s, the Gulf war started while Siham was travelling. She felt that she had a responsibility
towards Palestinian women in Kuwait, and so she returned. Siham spoke of difficult times during the
Gulf war, she remembered stories that “no heart or mind can imagine”. In addition to fulfilling her
role as the president of the Union, Siham moved all the Union’s Palestinian ornaments and dresses to
Jordan and eventually moved back while her husband stayed in Kuwait.
Having witnessed this war, Siham spoke of the insecurity that she re‐lived once again after the
Nakba. During the war, there was no security and many families lacked basic needs which threatened
their survival, whether it was from the spread of armed civilians or the shortage of electricity and
food. Despite this, Siham survived but upon returning to Amman, she had lost faith in everything and
felt that their lives were drenched in conspiracies.
Overall, the narratives of both women during this period highlight many changes in their human
security. Survival in the first few years of this period was not a major issue for either. They both had
shelter, food and clothes. However it was their livelihood that was affected the most, as both their
fathers lost their sources of income and had to seek new ways to put food on the table. The idea of
having left their sources of livelihood behind impacted their fathers so strongly that it nearly killed
Najat’s father and eventually resulted in the death of Siham’s. As for their sense of dignity and being,
Siham still expressed feelings of the ‘other’ in Syria, while Najat did not. This brings us to the type of
security that different countries offered Siham and Najat. As their narratives illustrate, Jordan was a
source of emotional security for both women, Najat in the early 1950s and Siham in the mid‐1960s.
This can perhaps be attributed to the similar nature and culture of Jordan and Palestine which helped
Siham and Najat feel less excluded. On the other hand, Gulf countries provided financial security for
them and many Palestinians during this era. Both women went to Kuwait to work in education albeit
for a short time. It is perhaps due to the differences in their personalities and personal circumstances
that one found it convenient and the other didn’t.
The second half of their narratives also highlights significant changes in their human security.
Siham’s narrative portrays an increased sense of dignity in two instances. The first was when she first
moved to Jordan where she felt a sense of belonging again and started activities on the Palestinian
issue. The second was when she started working in the Palestinian Women's Union in Kuwait.
However, all elements of Siham’s human security were impacted by the Gulf war. Her life was under
threat; she lacked basic needs and was very conscious of the possibility of the war resulting in more
Palestinian refugees. Thus, Siham relived the Nakba through the Gulf war.
Najat on the other hand, was not involved in politics and dedicated her life to her family during
this period. It was her mother’s sickness and death that brought back feelings of sadness and
insecurity; feelings similar to those she felt in some instances during the Nakba. She lost something
in both periods: a home and land as a child, and a mother as an adult.